Death By Words

I am me but it isn't enough. The kids at school don't like me too much. My family's poor; I can't afford nice clothes. All of my socks have holes in the toes. I have 2 pairs of jeans I wear every other day. I try keeping them new but they won't stay that way. I like different music but they think it's whack. Being Black, I should only listen to R&B and rap. I'm very good at school because I'm very smart But they try to hurt my feelings by calilng me a retard. They say that I am stupid and they also call me dumb. They say that I will never amount to be anyone. They push me in the hallway trying to pick a fight. Sad and depressed, I push through with all of my might. The girls talk about me on Facebook and the guys find it funny. They talk about my appearance and how I am so very ugly. I hold my head up at school but at home I always cry. They talk about me daily and I really don't know why. I'm too black, too tall, too smart, too poor... All I want to do is disappear through the floor. They don't know I'm funny, nice, kind, and sweet. They'd prefer to talk badly about me to everyone they meet. Am I too scared to face them and say what's on my mind? Or maybe I'm not mean enough because I am too kind... I try to listen to my teachers who advise me to walk away But my bullies follow me to torment me every single day. My grades start dropping because I can no longer focus. I get in trouble at home because education is a must. All I want to do is go to school without getting picked on. All of this external negativity is making me withdrawn. I used to be so happy and now, I don't know what that is. I have no idea how much more I can take of this. I hate how I've given them the power on how to make me feel. They've caused scars so deep that I wonder if I will ever heal. Why did God make me so different? Why am I so disliked? I just want to be pretty and cool so that I can be liked. I'm tired. Tired of hurting. Tired of being scared. Tired of crying. I feel small pieces of me slowly and constantly dying. No one to talk to because no one understands. Now I am no more and it's caused by my own hands. The kids at school didn't like me too much. I tried to be me but it wasn't enough.