Dear John My Happy Place

Today, I wanted to relieve myself But sat there broken hearted. It seemed no matter what I did I simply only . . . . . you know? Many have experienced this Well I really don’t like to strain I’m heard sad stories about elders That seriously injured their brain It seems insurmountable; this curse I sat and thought about my choices Way in the back of my head, I think I’m hearing ‘mixed’ voices. All kinds of advice and frightful warnings Of pending doom or pleasant feelings There are so many, I really can’t choose I’m not sure with what I’m dealing. We’ve all seen those ads in magazines On T.V. and the local drug store. But I often fear from what they say Exactly when and what I’d be in for. I try to watch my diet Eat lots of fiber and all that stuff At times I sense I’ve overdone it With things about to get ruff. As with any pancake, there are two sides I like my cheese’s, all rich and runny If I go for that third or fourth slice It may not turn out so very funny Prune Juice is king, the best I’ve found 4 oz. of juice with 4 of warm water. When I first rise in the morning It generally works or I feel it aughter I sip this nectar expecting magic While I do my cross word puzzle Try to re-write “Jumbled” words Or solve the daily Wuzzle. I fear now, when I prepare to stand My legs just feel a bit numb. Maybe waiting so long Is really a slight bit dumb. But Hark. . I hear a rumbling Way down where things need to happen. If I’m right, I’m feelin’ lucky I may very soon be . . . . . . you know? Well, today should be a good one. I’ve that problem out of the way. I’ll try to remember that next time It really paid off to stay. I heard an old fella once say: There’s one thing better than sex. I guess I’m just not old enough. It’s “that great”; my bowels to flex. Written by oldbuck, now pushin’ 80, 6/1/2020 As he thought about things he’d never tried to rhyme before. Maybe this is going too far?? But with the TP shortages, it seemed fitting.