Dear Family

You supported others who you thought were saviors. No one was there for me, no emotional support, no encouragement. Only whispers of whay I need to do and how to do it. As if you been through it before, but you have not. You didn't live through the torment. The emotional damage of his lies. The constant fear of walking through the door. The physical and sexual abuse, I had no where to go, no one who would listen. No one was there to help. No guidance or encouragement. No love from sisters or parents only whispers and words of disgust. You weren't the one who lived in constant fear, you weren't the one who always had to look over there shoulder. You were not the one who lost all hope and will to keep trying. When I cried out for help, I was met with I would never do that or let that happen. I was told, I would just walk away. Walking away was not an option, fighting back was and that is what I did. I screamed, yelled, fought back and finally won. Yet the hurt still lingers because you were never there. None of you truly cared or wanted to help. You just encouraged another snake in the grass. One who spewed venom from their mouth. Living through that alone made me realize how much I never had your support. Growing up was always about my siblings an you. I joined the military was told I would never make it but I did. Was told I wish we would gave never had you. Well here I am. I am here because of God and myself. Nothing you do or say will ever make me have respect or care for you. The support will never be there from me. I see that I am always on my own. The support given to my sisters is time consuming I see. The love given to them left none for me and I feel it. All I wanted was love but you always came empty handed. The situation opened my eyes to everything. The abuse as a child, the survival from it. The abuse from that relationship and survived it. My biggest problem of all is that the damage and hurt my sisters went through where met with love and support from you. They were met with loving and open arms. No one reaches out to my kids. They are kids and you are adults. The abandonment you have shown me and continue to show me is clear as day. Sisters are continuously favored and it shows. I am a survivor and realize it is no thanks to you. I did it on my own with God protecting me. I needed you then but don't need you now and I realize I am better off that way. Keep your love for them, I will be ok. I will always find my way.