Dear Abbieanne

Dear Abbieanne, my love life is in tatters. All I seem to do now is blither and moan. Absent a mate all my dreams have been shattered. In spite of best efforts my prospects have flown. I thought a good heart was all that would matter. Indeed there are other traits I have not known. Like brushing my teeth and taking a shower. Plus shaving my nose so hair doesn't flower. And using a mouthwash so breath won't offend like a wealth of garlic and beer seem to do. Or wearing clean clothes with no stains on my end and watching my step so no doo's on my shoe. And washing my hair. Deodorant's our friend? All these endless tasks. Will I ever be through? To my misery this letter will attest. Very Truly Yours, Despondent in the West