Home » Poems » Malabika Ray Choudhury » Days Lost - A

Malabika Ray Choudhury | + Follow Poet |

Days Lost - A

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Malabika Ray Choudhury.

FIRST PLACE

Relativity - Time - A Vignette Poetry Contest

Sponsor: Suzette Richards

August 5, 2023

150 Words

Drove for thirty minutes to subway station, took a train for forty minutes, got into another for only ten minutes, reached Queen's Park. People were rushing to work-places. I found a seat beside the window, and looked at all the grim faces in the compartment. I carried a book about art history. How many people read art history in the subway? I did, in between scanning all the faces I had never met before, and probably would never meet! I headed to a hospital where they treat cancer-patients! Staff was so kind probably knowing some of us won't be around for long. A volunteer picked me up the next day - she seemed shocked - "You are from India? Do Indians get cancer! I hear they spice food with turmeric every single day!” Twenty-five days were gone from my life! But I really enjoyed the ride in the subway!

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

I Am Anaya

Date: 8/7/2023 8:48:00 PM

I'm learning from the wonderful atmosphere you have provided, funny I too use turmeric in my soups and juice. Congratulations on your Win,Malabika! Very nice. Anaya

Malabika Ray Choudhury
Date: 8/9/2023 9:04:00 AM

Dear Anaya, So delighted to find your loving comment. It was a bit hard to create the atmosphere in 150 words, but I am glad I tried. My first draft was around 450 words with lot more details, I posted that one "Twenty-Five Days" too. Very happy to know you use turmeric in your cooking. Hugs ~ Mala

Susan Lawrence

Date: 8/7/2023 12:45:00 PM

Mala, Wonderful write . I was brought right into the scene riding the subway with you and glancing at the art history book in your hand ! I love the reference to turmeric ! It’s true that it definitely helps stave off cancer ! I use it every day … well almost !! Big hugs and belated congratulations on your win ! Love, Susan :)

Malabika Ray Choudhury
Date: 8/9/2023 8:59:00 AM

Thank you so much, Susan - really appreciate your thoughtful, inspiring comment. This is a poetic form I was not very familiar with. I did a few before - unconsciously, not really knowing. The sponsor's explanations of the characteristics of this form got me interested, but joined only when the contest was filling up. I am glad I tried. You are an artist-cum-poet, of course you will be interested in the Art-book. I am very interested in Art, and Cooking. Nowadays I sometimes attend art workshops. Hugs, Dear Friend ~ Mala

Beata Agustin

Date: 8/7/2023 5:46:00 AM

Wow! Congrats for sharing this vignette... making me virtually encounter what you experienced. God bless you.

Malabika Ray Choudhury
Date: 8/7/2023 6:22:00 AM

Thank you, Beata. Really appreciate your visit, and kind comments. Truly it was a tough experience!

Suzette Richards

Date: 8/6/2023 9:21:00 PM

Hi again. I am popping back with a nudge about this form of writing. I recently added a link on the contest page (didn't do it from the start as it might have clashed with my brief regarding the topic). So, if you want to read more examples of vignette, just click on the contest results page and scroll down to the contest description. It includes a famous vignette by Hemingway:)

Malabika Ray Choudhury
Date: 8/7/2023 6:19:00 AM

Thank you so much, Suzette. I am quite interested about this form of writing. Actually in the past, I read many of Hemingway’s famous works, and was impressed, inspired, influenced by his style. I will follow the link you have added, and hope to learn more. Appreciate your kindness. Best wishes ~ Mala

Christuraj Alex

Date: 8/6/2023 7:38:00 AM

" Do Indians get cancer! I hear they spice food with turmeric every single day!” - Nice question. A very marvelous writing. Congratulations on your first-place win.

Malabika Ray Choudhury
Date: 8/6/2023 8:54:00 AM

Thank you, Dear Friend. I was not familiar with this form, and was not sure about the sponsor's expectations. Yesterday evening...just thought "Let's write something", and didn't notice the word-limit. First draft was more than 400. Then when noticed, squeezed it to exactly 150. Whoa! It worked! I love writing this kind of short stories - I am probably inspired by Ernest Hemingway!

Suzette Richards

Date: 8/6/2023 1:11:00 AM

In true style of the vignette, you created an atmosphere and did not create a story. Also, it is immediate. Well done. Thank you for entering my contest, Relativity/Time – congratulations on your first-place win Malabika.

Suzette Richards
Date: 8/6/2023 4:08:00 AM

You are welcome:)

Malabika Ray Choudhury
Date: 8/6/2023 3:54:00 AM

OMG, I am so excited, Suzette! A First Place - that's wonderful! Thank you so much for the placement. Now I am going to read all the other entries. This form was quite challenging! Really appreciate. I didn't know this form - you explained really well, and the examples helped.

Regina Mcintosh

Date: 8/6/2023 1:03:00 AM

Powerful write. Love it. God bless you always, sweet lady. Love, Gina

Malabika Ray Choudhury
Date: 8/6/2023 3:54:00 AM

Thank you, Gina. I feel humbled.