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Darkness

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darkness rain pattering the swish of passing cars the hush of leaves rustling outside stillness

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Brian Sambourne

Date: 10/18/2023 9:16:00 PM

Strong images in your Cinquain. You've caught a rain splashed night with a hustle of cars to its stillness. Fine work. Be well. Brian

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/19/2023 4:10:00 AM

thank you for your visit and your thoughtful comments, Brian. I'm grateful my words created that image for you. Have a pleasant day, Sara

Sotto Poet

Date: 10/13/2023 12:08:00 PM

Dear Sara, your cinquain poem beautifully describes a wet night. I can practically hear the raindrops and scent the earthy smell of wet pavement in your descriptive portrayal. Your depiction of this night's sights, sounds, and fragrances is so vivid that one can nearly feel the moist air and see the streets' shimmering reflections. It is sensory perfection. Blessings dear friend

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/13/2023 12:35:00 PM

thanks, dearest Sotto, for your thoughtful comments. I'm grateful that reading it gave you an opportunity to hear and smell night things. I'm grateful for your appreciation of my sensory details. Have a blessed Friday and & week, dear poet friend, Sara

Sam Kauffman

Date: 10/13/2023 9:56:00 AM

What a perfect description of the sights, sounds and aromas of a rainy nigh, Sara. I can hear the cars, the patter of rain on the windows and then, the silence. Wonderful use of sound! I grew up in the NW and have experienced your words. Brought back memories of many a cozy night going to sleep with the sounds of a rainstorm as a lullaby! Blessings and gratitude for this lovely poem.

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/13/2023 12:33:00 PM

ahhh...thanks for your kind and uplifting words. I grew up outside of Dallas, Texas, in what was then an exurb. We didn't have A/C so the windows were wide open and I remember hearing all those sounds and seeing all those sights. Life was simply perfect then. Thanks for stopping by...I appreciate your encouraging words and gratitude for my work. Have a blessed evening, Sara

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 10/13/2023 9:31:00 AM

O love darkness and stillness. The transition from one to the other is perfect. Blessings.

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/13/2023 12:30:00 PM

thank you for your wonderful comments, Victor, and for appreciating the transition I was hoping to create. Have a wonderful evening, Sara

Tom Woody

Date: 10/13/2023 7:04:00 AM

Even in those moments we can find tranquility. It's all about our attitude. Very nice

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/13/2023 8:08:00 AM

thanks for reading my first Cinquain. I agree...attitude makes a world of difference. Have a fantastic Friday, Sara

Jeanette Brewin

Date: 10/13/2023 5:45:00 AM

A good description. Well done.

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/13/2023 8:08:00 AM

thanks, Jeanette....this was my first Cinquain attempt. enjoy your day, Sara

Mike Gentile

Date: 10/13/2023 4:17:00 AM

Sara, your Cinquain, so full of imagery, brought me immediately to driving home from work. I hated that it got dark so early ! You really nailed that feeling!! Happy Friday!!

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/13/2023 4:21:00 AM

Thanks, Mike, for stopping by. I recall those days you mentioned...going to work when it was dark and coming home when it was dark. Thanks for your comments...you have a great Friday as well, Sara

Sam Scott

Date: 10/13/2023 4:16:00 AM

Simple. Beautiful. Tangible. I wish I could do this quite as well! :)

Sam Scott
Date: 10/13/2023 4:42:00 AM

Thanks for the encouragement! - Sam

Sara Etgen-Baker
Date: 10/13/2023 4:22:00 AM

thanks for your visit, Sara. Thanks for your kind words. I worked on this Cinquain for 2-3 days....I'm having to learn to be concise and choose words/images that convey emotion. I believe you'll get there...have a wonderful Friday, Sara