Damages and Diseases of the Swinging Pendulum Mind: Part One
Back and Forth
Back and Forth
My cruel mind goes
Like the deadly pendulum
It swings some more
Entrapping those that come around
Back and Forth
Back and Forth
Like the tides of the frozen ocean
Anger
Love
Sadness
Hatred
Back and Forth
Back and Forth
Unable to stop
Continually altering my thoughts
Causing me to cause problems
When there should be none
When I should only hold you up
I drag you down
Then I push you up
I pull you down
And again and again
This deadly pendulum swings
Again and again
I lift you up I pull you down
Again and Again
My mind changes
Over and over
And I drown you in my torturous disease
Capturing you inside the tides of my mania
The fires of my hell
You are trapped
And I only hurt you
Only hurt you
Hurt you
Swinging, swinging
Like the deadly Pendulum
I am nothing but pain for you
Nothing but pain
Nothing but pain
Pain
Pain
Changing like the tides
Like a wave
My mind bounces around
Like a ball
A flying butterfly
It is never still
Never still
Never still
Your strength is amazing
I view you as flawless
You’ve dealt with me
For so long
This deadly swinging pendulum
You take in stride
You’ve learned to float amongst the waves
Live with the gnashing of bloody waters
To hold onto the shred of humanity
That you still believe I have
And I thank you for that
I thank you,
For keeping me in your good graces
Despite my chaotic mind
Despite my disease
My
My what?
What can it really be called?
All are just excuses
Excuses for me to keep that dangerous Pendulum swinging
I can’t control it though
I don’t know how
I am so weak
So worthless
And I cling to you
For sanity
For my life
I shouldn’t
But I do
You are my life line
I am so small
So nothing without you
The tides become rougher
The tides become meaner
I can’t stop it
I can’t control it
The tears roll down my cheeks
I have lost all control
Ha
As if I ever HAD control
Copyright © Rebecca Larkin | Year Posted 2012
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