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Crushed

Life’s not like it used to be my world’s caved in. I am a vacuum, a hollow vessel hopeless in attempts to bend and flex. The shape of things is crushed. Deformity replaces beauty and I am cast off with others ill-fated as myself. Dumped into a droning darkness many, some half some whole speak clanking their way to someplace. Empty and loud. What can a dented can hope for? To be undented again? Filled with the fluids of laughter or pain? I think not. But see the light that peeks through slits. A new place, brightness, movement and soon, dear diary, I’ll have a major change to sleek, aluminum foil. 1/9/18 CRUSHED Poetry Contest Sponsored by: Anthony Biaanco

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 6/18/2020 8:54:00 PM
Janis, the brilliance of your poem shines in its emotive and evocative textures. The nuances of your introspection is conveyed with your artful pen and your last line is a grande finale for this metaphoric beauty. Congratulations on your excellent win, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
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Date: 6/18/2020 5:37:00 AM
This is a brilliant and thought provoking personification Janis! Love how it ends on a hopeful note. I could find metaphors for human lives throughout your poem. We all wait for that light. Congratulations on your win :)
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Date: 6/18/2020 4:47:00 AM
Sian, hope can polish the dents. Congrats. Mohan
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Date: 12/12/2019 4:32:00 AM
WoW! This is some outstanding, existential introspection, Sian: But see the light that peeks through slits. A new place, brightness, movement and soon, dear diary, I’ll have a major change to sleek, aluminum foil.Your pen strokes speak w/ tin foil relevancy. Supernova bright write! Love and hugs forever
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Date: 4/19/2018 10:50:00 PM
Great personification, Sian. Congrats on your win.
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Date: 1/14/2018 12:54:00 PM
Awesome :) I love it!
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Date: 1/13/2018 4:50:00 PM
Many congrats on your win Janis:-) hugs Jan xx
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Date: 1/13/2018 12:35:00 PM
Oh to be redeemed, revived, reincarnated in a shiny new form....every diary should have such a hope filled final entry....thanks for participating in the contest
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Date: 1/12/2018 8:14:00 AM
What an ending! Knowing it was fiction, however experience-based, allowed me to just enjoy the poem's emotions and your creativity which actually sparked my muse for this contest (probably over now that I've an inkling.) A wonderful read with a real kicker of an ending. Blessings ... CayCay
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Date: 1/11/2018 10:01:00 PM
Very imaginative and well written poem, Janis! Enjoyed your perspective from a dented can's point of view...good luck in the contest :)
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Date: 1/9/2018 5:27:00 AM
very deep and emotive, a great piece for this contest...
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