Cries the Hypocrite

He watches **** on the internet! …says the man with an animated, tentacle fetish. His humor is crude and inappropriate! …says the guy who breaks out Catholic priest jokes on command. He’s disrespectful to women! …declares the man who slept with a seventeen-year old at a college party, then paid for her abortion. He’s a horrible racist! …says the professor who claims your skin-color defines your ‘identity.’ We’re ahead of the moral curve! …says an actor accused of drugging underage teens by three separate young men. We’ve moved beyond superstitious faith! …says a person who believes you can change gender just by thinking it so. He’s a hypocrite! …cries the hypocrite. But honestly people, who here isn't one? Come on, anybody? Anybody. No? Didn’t think so. Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret. …actually, I probably won’t.