Creature of Havoc

I lie in bed making up stories trying to figure reality like the center of everything listened to by the radio i strategise with my garbage somehow the riddles of song are there to save me the artists know that by reaching out to me having me figure out their puzzle they can save one life and millions of like minded individuals i represent but if the bad guys catch on then it all goes out the window I open my window light some incense close the door put the lit candle on the sill lay myself on my bed my father gave me I wonder sometimes is cursed and perhaps was conceived on and thats why i cry on it soo often my name is one metaphor i haven't figured out laying underneath a blanket i snuggle all night I've named mike Michael for short crying into a pillow i named after a boy i fell for with bad teeth and all the right looks named Brian my other blanket Ben so under a blanket of Michael in my skimpy underwear thinking how lonely i am how i wish i could brainwash myself to exercise i ponder the dreams I've been having Nine inch nails screaming lyrics don't you know what you are? and i still don't.... a dirty blonde haired six foot something 215 pound fatso who needs to lose weight and wear less revealing underwear it all comes clear to me I get out of bed freaked!!!! running to the stereo at first then the singer says something i wont curse you with so i go to hide in the bathroom until the delusion passes until i can regain some sanity and escape myself but stupid me put the label of urban legends on my bathroom door so i fling the door open think the word psycho which I think of myself most days and scream out loud it's all coming clear now heart pounding the stereo still guiding me with it's blue glowing haze from across the room poetic justice i suppose i hope i'm not a metaphor for a city i hope i'm not a metaphor for a king I hope i'm not a metaphor that affects too many people but underneath this blanket of an angel of justice is the real me talking to myself in the dark wondering am i crazy brainwashed possessed or have i just been visited again by an arch angel and the gods of this world have made me insignificantly important and thrown out my free will which im nervous to discover If only you knew the whole story!!!