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Personal Note:
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Poem


I lie in bed making up stories 
trying to figure reality
like the center of everything 
listened to by the radio
i strategise with my garbage
somehow the riddles of song are there to save me
the artists know that by reaching out to me
having me figure out their puzzle
they can save one life and millions of like minded individuals
i represent
but if the bad guys catch on then it all goes out the window

I open my window
light some incense 
close the door
put the lit candle on the sill
lay myself on my bed my father gave me 
I wonder sometimes is cursed and perhaps
was conceived on
and thats why i cry on it soo often
my name is one metaphor i haven't figured out

laying underneath a blanket i snuggle all night I've named mike
Michael for short
crying into a pillow i named after a boy i fell for with bad teeth
and all the right looks named Brian
my other blanket Ben

so under a blanket of Michael
in my skimpy underwear
thinking how lonely i am 
how i wish i could brainwash myself to exercise
i ponder the dreams I've been having
Nine inch nails screaming lyrics don't you know what you are?
and i still don't....


a dirty blonde haired six foot something 215 pound fatso
who needs to lose weight and wear less revealing underwear
it all comes clear to me

I get out of bed
freaked!!!!
running to the stereo at first then the singer says something
i wont curse you with
so i go to hide in the bathroom until the delusion passes
until i can regain some sanity and escape myself
but stupid me put the label of urban legends on my bathroom door
so i fling the door open
think the word psycho
which I think of myself most days
and scream out loud
it's all coming clear now

heart pounding
the stereo
still guiding me with it's blue glowing haze from across the room
poetic justice i suppose
i hope i'm not a metaphor for a city
i hope i'm not a metaphor for a king
I hope i'm not a metaphor that affects too many people
but underneath this blanket of an angel of justice
is the real me
talking to myself in the dark

wondering
am i crazy
brainwashed 
possessed
or have i just been visited again
by an arch angel
and the gods of this world have made me insignificantly important
and thrown out my free will
which im nervous to discover

If only you knew the whole story!!!
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