Crazy Talking Outloud Ashamed Not Proud

As incredulously the second hand ticks cuckoo tock And malevolent the noon is high I amongst the many few Gaze upon the circumspect Of the floating traveling ghosts slowly moon-walking by Trying best not to reflect the stained glass mirror watching back Drawing their attention to what has gone before Safely entrenched i whisper lie behind 3 locked bolted door Inbetween elongated gulps of breaths to ward away my state of panic from attacks I fuse my thumbs to tack my ears and draw the nearest pillow to hide my masked face If grace and peace are but a death away i steely pray cometh it to take me quickly As i fear the many stones i have thrown throughout my life Are about to come crashing down and through this very prison of windows i have chosen to seek refuge in My skin is crawling so thick with goose bump flesh my body hair is cascading through the basement floor And all for what i do not know nor can explain who what and why i am today I am of my own self creation self made of every bad misguided decision and path taken And given that i have reached and crossover to this point If i was to make my appologies and say im sorry for merely to placate my selfish state of grace A lesser man than even i could ever hate to be shadow I'd expect to be standing cursing me to hell and back Resplendent righteous in the very slippers i failed so miserably to fill