Crazy Eyes

It's been four years since I submitted my last poem, I was only one year into my addiction to methamphetamine. I'm currently five years in and boy oh boy do I have some perspective to give ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You see the crazy eyed girl in the corner of the room, eyes completely vacant when they used to shine so bright? She can feel the stares from everybody in the room as her body involuntarily twitches and spasms by the time she's taken her 4th hit because the meth has started giving her partial epileptic seizures, she can feel her mind rotting away even though she's tried desperately to hold onto the immense amount of intelligence she once had only 5 years ago. She just stares blankly into the phone because if she looks up and sees even one snicker on anybody's lips she'll go ing ballistic Once a girl with an IQ of 170, now she can barely read a page of paper because her eyes won't quit darting across the page and she can barely form a coherent sentance when she's high. The only thing she's seemed to retain from her former life is her youthful appearance amazingly, you'd think that that would've been the first thing to go As she sits in misery day by day, Crystal just continues to take and take even though theirs basically nothing left She wants to get clean but everytime without fail she gives in by day 6 and has to have another hit or she could just ing kill somebody All alone in the shadows of her mind, she gives herself so much grief every single day for turning to this lifestyle. So as her eyes get crazier and crazier overtime, you're probably better off just not asking why, because at this point shes convinced that anybody who shows even a spark of interest or care is simply out to get something in the end and has ulterior motives This isn't the life she ever pictured for herself......hell of her 15 year old self knew where'd she'd be in only 10 years, she wouldn't have gave a about anything or anyone feeling guilty, she'd have blown her brains out, hell she could've just hi ad her son 2 months after her 15th birthday and if that would've been when she'd seen her future she still would've chosen to blow her brains out as long as it meant that she didn't have to live a life as miserable as the one she lives now........24 years old 2 kids that she never gets to see because her addiction is so bad and nobody thinks she will ever beat addiction..she don't even