Crazy Conversation With a Telephone Operator

Note 
TO = telephone operator
Self = myself speaking
  



TO:      You have just reached Bedlam Associates Incorporations Ltd.
             Our telephone number is 999999ad infinitum but a 9 is enough.
             If you want to hear this message in English, please press 1
             If you prefer any other language please press 2.
Self:      I press 1.
TO:       Good job, Sir.  I only know English.
Self:     (mumbling))
TO:        How can I help you Sir?
Self:      I have a problem with my Visa credit card.
TO:       You have to chose from our menu:
              Press 1 if you lost your card.
              Press 2 if you have now found your card.
              Press 3 if you found a card belonging to some one else.
              Press 4 in case you use this card which does not belong to you.
              Press 5 for any other question.
Self:       I press 5
TO:        So what do you want?
Self:       I  went to a public ATM   and inserted my card.
TO:        Did you insert it properly?  If not press 1.  If yes press 2.
Self:       (Pressing 2)  I’m not a cretin you know.
TO:         So what’s the problem, SIR.
Self:        I inserted my secret pin number…
TO:         Was it the correct pin?
Self:        Of course (mumbling).   I then saw the amount of money                
                available to me.   So I pressed 500.  But I only got 100.
TO:         Press 1 if you want a receipt.  My records show you pressed 
               100.
Self:        I’m not blind, you know.  I pressed 500.
TO:         You have only one option.  Go to the nearest bank,
                Goodbye Sir.   Come again soon.       

 Although this conversation is fictions, it did happen to me.  Only the TO was quite nice about it.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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Kiser Avatar
January 4, 2022 at 10:26 AM
I have had a similar situation, fortunately it was not 500, but I still had to go into the bank to get them to mail my debit card back to me. It can be frustrating. Automation is not what it's made out to be. Enjoyed.
Skelly Avatar
December 23, 2021 at 3:06 AM
My heart stops when I hear these automated messages, really dislike this approach, no such thing as a simple phone call anymore...Enjoyed this write Victor...Delice
Ball Avatar
December 21, 2021 at 6:24 AM
Too cute Victor but I guess you didn't think so at the time. Automated answering services drive me batty. They keep directing your call to other departments. Loved this Victor. God Bless, and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours. JB
Awtry Avatar
December 20, 2021 at 6:35 AM
I am so happy if and when I have the privilege of speaking to an actual human!!! I do not like the automated menu! So frustrating! I enjoyed your story—though I think it raised my blood pressure a bit ;) -ps
Rodrigues Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 4:25 PM
We get rid of pay telephones with all their nonsense (long distance calls) only to have to deal with more nonsense.
Roper Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 1:13 PM
I totally hate having a computer to answer my calls, but it seems every business does. Well, done, my friend. I know your frustration
Poet Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 12:35 PM
We've all been through a rough patch. Victor, I believe they addressed all of your concerns regarding this occurrence.
Buehler Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 11:07 AM
Automated telephone menus can be very frustrating. But your portrayal is hilarious! Thank you for sharing. :)
Hankins Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 9:13 AM
It can be soooo frustrating dealing with anything on the phone these days. I hate those menus! Give me an old-fashioned human being!
Daniel Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 5:36 AM
Humorous take on the problem you faced, Victor, and sure, it's crazy:)
Pandit Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 5:07 AM
We all have had such an encounter. Hope all was resolved to your satisfaction in your case, Victor.
George Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 4:27 AM
Sometimes, these people at the other end drive us crazy ! Not losing one's temper itself is a great thing. Though frustrating I enjoyed this conversation Victor !
Cunningham Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 3:59 AM
Lol, but it's not really funny, it's so frustrating Victor. They usually finish with anything else I can help you with grrrrr. Tom
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