Conspiracy Theory-I Think Not

I'm pretty sure I know their dirty little secrets With Big Brother watching over me And what I know you know that I can't keep it Remember this in case tomorrow I'm history U.F.O.' s are flying past my building I see them wink, little men of green It's time to foil up all my outside windows Keep the gamma rays from infiltrating And of the mailman I'm more than a bit leary Letters and bills are not all that's in the post A very good reason for most of today's junk mail Is in the hiding of tiny microphones When I head out to the grocery, people are awful friendly Asking how I am, checking up on me Pretty sure every one of them is a Russian agent With that English accent down to a tee When l'm alone at home doing daily dishes I often hear strange voices gurgling from the sink I'm always very quick to close the refrigerator The other day I caught the honey ham glazing back at me And all of this because I'm privy to their secrets How do I know, my source's tell me so If I told a few to you, you never would believe me But then again there's just some things the common man should never know I have a guy on Facebook that has gone over the edge with conspiracy theories that it borders on the absurd. So what do I do about it? Write a poem of course! Duh!