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Cold Hill

..'.''.'........' robins chirp on cold emerald hill... salty frost tumbles (c) ...... Debbie Guzzi's Autumn/ Winter Haiku by nette onclaud

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Joe Maverick

Date: 11/26/2011 12:11:00 PM

Real good Nette, i wish you the best in Debbies contest..!

Gwendolen Song

Date: 11/14/2011 12:30:00 AM

My brain is ready to explode with haiku data, Nette. Now I can only read for pleasure. lol....Robins chirp loudly so I can see the cause and effect in your haiku...I feel the edge of a marguerita glass on the last line. salty frost tumbles...fun..Allergies better yet? Steroids cleared out of your system? Ugh...Gwendolen

Bl Devnath

Date: 11/12/2011 10:08:00 PM

Good morning my friend. Wish you good luck for contest for 'Cold Hill'. bl

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 11/12/2011 7:05:00 PM

good luck in the contest.... Have yourself a wonderful night..Thank you for sharing your interesting thoughts and words. Take care ;-) ..LINDA

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 11/12/2011 2:33:00 PM

yes nette a shift is required but a shift within the same frame, think of a snap shot which also has sound & scent & touch..your snapshot is of a green hill with a robin on it [nice introduction of sound too!] now for line three you need something like [a hawk decends] see how that could have been in the picture too? or [snow floats down] let me know if you still don't understand..neither birds nor hills greet anything ..stay OBJECTIVE not subjective..in fact not fantasy

Sara Kendrick

Date: 11/12/2011 1:54:00 PM

Enjoyed reading this one..I could just see that cold winter hill that could possibly bring death to that Robin..Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting on my work.I just enjoy watching those buzzards circle and soar.They have grace and beauty even though they are what they are...Sara

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 11/12/2011 1:54:00 PM

Our robins are all gone and yes winter would be their casket--wonderful Haiku--good luck in Deb's contest.

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 11/12/2011 7:52:00 AM

haiku are title either by number or by use of the first line [on a cold emerald hill] is fine..first 2 lines okies..line 3 is a metaphor and is not OBJECTIVE [unless there really WAS a casket on the hill?] think of something else visceral, scensorary which was in the same moment & relates to either the robin or the hill...light & love

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 11/12/2011 7:18:00 AM

kapow.. what an electric Haiku... this will be on winners list... luv the casket line my friend.. soup mail in a few..luv..

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 11/12/2011 7:18:00 AM

good luck ..oh ..it is too early to think .haha..

Sarah Seraphin

Date: 11/12/2011 12:57:00 AM

* “I Found Myself Smiling Still, Yet * Maybe I Should Rather Say That * I Find Myself Smiling * My Dear Sweet Beautiful Nette * Not Amid Any Reason to Do With This Somber, Somewhat Gripping & Excellent Verse * As Much As That There's Is This Beautiful Love * Filling Everything * Swimming Sweeetly Through My Soul * Aside From This Reflection, I Truely Love This Intriguing Short Poe * Tis As If The Robin See's Something Beautiful * Beyound That Lovely Image Brushed In The Discription of An Emerald Hill & That of A Casket, Yet * Maybe That's The Key * The Burial of Autumns Joys *.* Only Your Brilliant Beauty Truly Knows Entirely; Also * Thank You * For Your Beauties Lovely Visit * Truly, A Slice of Heaven * My Luv, Always * Sarah.” *

Russell Sivey

Date: 11/11/2011 10:02:00 PM

What a chill that is in the air...those poor birds! I love the reference about death, great job!!