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Claustrophobic Cave Premiere Contest Winner

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Written for the contest " skating upon saturn's rings" sponsored by Sara Jama

When r e a l i t y feels like a poisoned paradise, trapped in a claustrophobic cave, strangling my spirit with ice-cold claws of fate, I close my fatigued eyes, attuned to the mellifluous flames of the moon-wings, detached from the gravity pulling me six feet below, chained to a casket of chaos, adorned with obsidian roses clothed in ghost-veils of Lilith, as this onyx heart screams in silence, longing for an ethereal escape, where every song I sing is no longer a tattooed mistake, to the eyes that feel not the burden I wear in resilience, to the ears that heed not the truth I speak in hushed tones. I am the storm of tranquility, whirling through warm winds like delicate dandelions, drifting in the darkness~ an untamed asteroid to your eclipsed breeze. Forgive my bleeding ink, for I choose to flee from this sulfuric sphere, testing my patience while the seething sun tortures my sanity, burning lifelines breathing within my splitting skin. Yet I still remain an unrestrained distraction, skating upon Saturn’s rings, steeped in sakura smoke, exhaling toxic fumes of twilight tremors into the vast blue ether, drawing layers of lethal lies from the dark sorcery sprouting through hemlock roots, as I sculpt paper boats from pages of disappointments, watching them ferry my demons through methane lakes~ mirroring memories, as melancholic mists engulf my bones in volatile violets, drowning me in endless waters rippling with twisted topaz, and scorching salt. So let the tempest of life unravel doleful desires, entwined in the whirlpool of doomed destiny. I am more than a caged nightmare~ tonight I float with my shadow, through astral projection, abandoning the hellish embrace, to drink from the citrine cup of lithium serenity, that numbs the p a i n of existence, forevermore...

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




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Date: 2/25/2025 8:43:00 PM
Dear Ink, your exquisitely beautiful poem is such a pleasure to read! Heartfelt congratulations on your trophy win. Best of wishes. :)
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Date: 2/25/2025 1:21:00 PM
Back with hearty congratulations on a trophy well deserved win, dear friend. Take care
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Date: 2/25/2025 11:20:00 AM
Thank you for writing on my prompt and I'm glad you found inspiration in it. Congratulations on your win. As always your poems are woven with such depth like an intricate tapestry. "as I sculpt paper boats from pages of disappointments, watching them ferry my demons through methane lakes~," I love the bittersweet sorrow in these lines. And your descriptions and metaphors never cease to amaze. Methane lakes reminds me of something you would encounter on a distant planet in space. Gorgeous imagery
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 11:36:00 AM
Thank you so much for the trophy win, altho i would prefer you giving it to someone else, give others a chance to win. I kno you like dark poetry and i think we have done more than 20 collabs in the past 5 or so years so i kno evn without a trophy what would please you. I just want to write in peace! Grateful tho grumpy! Lol can you tell
Date: 2/25/2025 8:38:00 AM
Ink Empress, impress us with your ongoing ability poetess, "while the seething sun tortures my sanity" "to drink from the citrine cup of lithium serenity, that numbs the p a i n" dramatic ever so, makes the mood come alive inside me. Your poems may vary, but your consistently unique voice never changes. Congratulations on your trophy win Ink! ;)
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 9:03:00 AM
Thank you sweet anaya, it means alot your support, i appreciate your kindness always! Sending you light always. Grateful for your encouraging words.
Date: 2/25/2025 12:24:00 AM
Big CONGRATS to win TOP. Have Good Days.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 5:32:00 AM
Thank you so much dear anisha, grateful for your kind support
Date: 2/24/2025 7:18:00 PM
One can spend and entire life, seeking purpose, seeking truth...but in the end most of us say, "I have done nothing" -- It never was about changing the world...more about, changing one's self. All heroes with time become myth. Excellent writing. Outstanding imagery.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:51:00 AM
Thank you so much dear Joe, grateful always for your kind and generous support truly
Date: 2/24/2025 3:52:00 PM
I am more than a caged nightmare~ you are a dream, a poet and an inspired soul that never ceases to ignite our hearts dear Ink, your poetry is a real treat today !
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:47:00 AM
Awn thats so sweet thank you sweet rose! So grateful for your kind feedback and so happy to see you todah
Date: 2/24/2025 11:56:00 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved trophy win :) you threw yourself completely into the prompt, creating some amazing lines. I loved "moon-wings, detached from the gravity pulling me six feet below" and "more than a caged nightmare~ tonight I float with my shadow" immersive and sensational!
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:42:00 AM
Thank you so very much dear DD, so kind of you to comment again, im grateful truly for your support always
Date: 2/24/2025 11:43:00 AM
“Yet I still remain an unrestrained distraction, skating upon Saturn’s rings, steeped in sakura smoke, exhaling toxic fumes of twilight tremors into the vast blue ether,” This is so imaginative and haunting. Your word choice is out of this world! So gifted is your pen! Congratulations on your trophy win.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:41:00 AM
You are so kind dear karen, thank you so very much for your generous and thoughtful comment. Grateful always for your support
Date: 2/24/2025 11:39:00 AM
Wow, I see you're on a winning streak with these beautiful poems. Congrats on your wins! <3
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:35:00 AM
I am so grateful for your thoughtful comment, i did not expect to get this trophy this time and everytime i win, i just am in disbelief as there are so many talented souls on soup and so many great takes on the prompt: Thank you so much
Date: 2/23/2025 10:14:00 AM
IE, I enjoyed reading this work. It makes me think of how difficult the escape from mental anguish and pain always is. I am lucky in that I only suffer a small amount and only for very brief periods of time. So, I consider myself very lucky. I only get to see Saturn's rings through a telescope. The spirit in this poem is much more heavily burdened. The trip taken through space and environments makes the effect you have made much stronger. I'm amazed how you can write the way you do with such complexity. Smiles of course for all of us on our excursions through space and time.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:33:00 AM
Thank you so much dear duke for all your kind analysis and for taking time to grasp little details of poems and for leaving such thoughtful comments: thank you so much!
Date: 2/23/2025 9:46:00 AM
from screams of silence to storms of tranquility , you have covered a wide range of literary milieu...beautifully crafted , ink!
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:31:00 AM
Thank you so much for your generous feedback truly
Date: 2/23/2025 9:10:00 AM
This strikes me as an emotionally captivating and heartfelt poem of struggle as rendered on the canvas of celestial realms. I can only hope the pain is not real for you. If so, hugs & prayers from me to you. Kindest Kudos /// Terrell
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:28:00 AM
A very empathetic and kind comment thank you so very much truly for reading and for leaving your thoughts, grateful
Date: 2/23/2025 8:30:00 AM
This is an exceptional piece of a dysfunctional state of mind, escaping to a heavenly body. Your theme encompasses so many emotional painful metaphors and excruciating thoughts. A marvel in creation Ink Empress. I have been away and now return to see this marvel of yours. Maria Williams did a video song on a poem I wrote Wishing Upon A Star. If you have some spare time please comment on Maria Williams page. Thank you so much Ink Empress...
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:16:00 AM
Thank you so much dear michael, i did read watch and comment on the post! Amazing! And congratulations on potd tol
Date: 2/23/2025 8:23:00 AM
If you are in a caged nightmare, then you;re in trouble.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 3:01:00 AM
Thank you dear victor. We are all somehow caged in something or another
Date: 2/23/2025 2:54:00 AM
Deeply troubled emotional state and desire to escape imagining detachment from gravity.And a desire to transcend physical and emotional limitations and cosmic imagery the poem expressing a profound struggle with existence .Ultimately the poet culminating a desire for numbness as a form of escape.The poem a powerful representation of depression and accompanying complex emotions.Very nice.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 2:51:00 AM
Thank you so much for your kind and detailed feedback, truly grateful always for your poetic support
Date: 2/22/2025 10:54:00 PM
Wow. Both emotion and detachment at the same time. Perhaps you researched Saturn? The words you used seem like they may exist on Saturn, such as scorching salts (ow) and cup of lithium. This was fierce. Good luck with the contest.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 2:37:00 AM
Thank you so very much dear hilda, for your detailed and generous feedback. Grateful for your kind support always
Date: 2/22/2025 6:36:00 PM
You're the perfect pandemonium Poetess...you remind me of a comet...J.A.B.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 2:32:00 AM
A comet, thats a beautiful comment thank you so very much for your thoughtful and kind feedback. Grateful truly
Date: 2/22/2025 4:22:00 PM
Sounds like you are trying to get out, as you do through poetry! <3 Always your final lines are so musical and beautiful - never fails.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 2:20:00 AM
It isnt about me but it is where the prompt took me. Thank you dear paige always, grateful for your kind support always
Date: 2/22/2025 3:34:00 PM
Too many fantastic images to ever name my favorites. Saturn is right up your alley, dear Inky.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 2:16:00 AM
Thank you so much sweet andrea, always grateful for your kind support truly
Date: 2/22/2025 2:18:00 PM
Reads like a good contender to me for the contest. Way to go. If we could only escape once in a while and have a few days to just do what we want to do. Thanks for sharing. Sara K
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 1:27:00 AM
Thank you so much for your kind feedback as always. Truly grateful
Date: 2/22/2025 11:19:00 AM
Very powerful, Inky ! The duality of despair & heavenly escape was felt in my heart when reading. I like the way you weave flowers & crystals into your poems because even when you are writing about the underbelly of life, you give the beauty of life too. I feel this is exactly what poets should be doing in this day & age. Certainly Saturn’s Rings would love your presence skating upon it. Xx
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/25/2025 1:24:00 AM
Thats such a kind comment and thing to say thank you so much for your generous and uplifting feedback and empathetic analysis of my poem. Grateful always
Date: 2/22/2025 10:46:00 AM
Heya Ink, love the juxtaposing imagery in this piece, you have a certain polished way of writing about darkness, that almost makes it attractive such is the wording, love the astral projection, reminds me of the (holographic principle) have you been reading up on black holes lol! No it’s a brilliant poem that deserves a big fave from me, cheers David
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/24/2025 9:19:00 PM
To receive a fave from you is truly an honor dear david, i used to write only dark poetry, but changed my style because of personal reasons. So i think it is still within me: i think our mind is powerful and to astral waltz too one can if they focus: i love that youv mentioned holographic principle too here. Thank you again so very much
Date: 2/22/2025 9:17:00 AM
Dearest Ink, this is an exceptional poem that tackles the tension between despair and the desire for escape. It explores the sentiments of being trapped in a terrible and chaotic reality, as represented by images of darkness, imprisonment, and emotional turbulence. The "poisoned paradise" reflects a life that is both lovely and oppressive, and the wish for "ethereal escape" represents a desire to transcend misery. The poem contrasts themes of chaos and tranquility, emphasizing the complexities of existence, fortitude in the face of misfortune, and the search for inner peace. Your word choice is vivid and evocative, with sensory elements that weave a rich tapestry of vision. The usage of oxymorons ("storm of tranquility") and contrasting components ("bleeding ink" vs. "lithium serenity") adds to the poem's emotional richness. Sending you warm hugs and golden vibes.
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/24/2025 9:08:00 PM
Thank you so much dear sotto for your detailed/ kind and thoughtful feedback, grateful for your support
Date: 2/22/2025 7:46:00 AM
WOW!!! What a write. Yes, I close my eyes to dream but cannot do it like you do. Just a thought... What if we really could go skating upon Saturn’s rings???? "Good Luck" Have a blessed day/weekend writing away......................
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Ink Empress
Date: 2/24/2025 9:04:00 PM
Thank you so much dear paula you are always so kind and thoughtful
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