Christmas Time

Christmas Time Twenty five years and the pain still rages I was told it would get better with time But every Christmas it come like clockwork Making me angry, sad, and even hard to go to work Most other times of the year you stand in the background Always present, but in December tinsel chokes my heart Reopening scars and cutting off my breath As I fight back tears, begging for death Memories of happy times, times that I will never have again Are covered by the ashes left by the flames of your death Blood oozes from my heart with the sounds of the season All I can think of is to retreat within my myself, my mind says, “Run child, run” Angels stand at the top of every Christmas tree to haunt me Whirling the memories in my head with each one I see Lights twinkle in endless torment, increasing the longing in my heart Every season greeting tears away a piece of me, the biggest part The part that remembers your smile, your laughter, and your loving ways The part that knows I will never have you to hold again The part that knows I cannot reach and hug you or talk to you The part that knows I did not say all I meant to say or do all I wanted to do Please some way in your mercy Lord grant me peace Grant me a warm breeze, a soft touch from an unseen hand Come to me in a dream and let me know those I lost are still near Let me know they know how much I love them and miss them this time of year.