Christmas Mourning
She placed her weary hand upon my barren skin,
for family can be broken if given a second chance.
She held onto so much pain hidden deep within,
no God could have changed that sad circumstance.
I remember when she used laugh and dance.
Just forty-one years old with anguished depression.
Too young to die, yet too old for the desire to heal.
Taking her sorrowful life was her only obsession,
she craved the moments which didn't make her feel.
So each day a layer of her happiness she did peel.
It was Christmas 2010 when her mania prevailed,
she had no where to run anymore, nowhere to hide.
Her life was full of weeping, her joy was derailed,
when she said she was okay we knew she lied.
Six days later she easily decided to commit suicide.
Now I try to string the lights and set the tree,
for maybe this year will be different than before.
I was the last person she did talk to and see,
but deep in my heart I knew me she did adore.
She was my crimson sunset upon the ocean shore.
So this time of year brings Christmas mourning.
I know soon eight years will arrive with woe.
No sights can be seen as sad as that morning,
the Christmas when I knew she would let go.
So much heartache on her family she did bestow.
I have yet to find a day when I can't remember
when I wasn't full of remorse this time of year.
It was that awful Christmas in late December
that brought so much anxiety and deep fear.
So I think of her and shed a Christmas tear.
Date: November 17, 2018
Contest: Christmas Mourning
Sponsor: PS Awtry
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2018
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