and post notes and photos about your poem like Gerald Dillenbeck.
Choir Dissonant Practice was not written to blame the choir director or to shame myself for depression where warm appreciative impression was therapeutically intended. This Practice seems to be right brain inspired to notice, understand, and move on.
This is a Practice I would highly recommend to national Republican Party choir members as they prepare for 2020 healthy democratic revisions, trust, constitutional loyalty, historic integrity, multicultural possibility for optimizing resilient economic and resonant ecological relationships with U.S. voters and cooperative investors.
I am a right-brain prominent writer
which must not be confused with
a prominent left-brain writer,
which I am almost decidedly not
nor would I aspire
toward such all or nothing thinking
and not at all both/and feeling.
Like most writers,
I feel more like the muses of rhetoric
more than I chose to write
like the non-choice vocation
of being sensually attracted to older
and more caring unstraight multicultured men
in a homophobic society.
I also have a long history of chronic depression
to write about
which seems unsurprising
as my story includes growing up gay
and unhappily bright
in a straight white male privileged monoculture
in a hetero-orthodox right-wing
with dualistic theological
(evil nature v. holy spirit)
and toxic anti-ecological
radically xenophobic pretensions
absence of healthy polycultural impressions
and not at all authentically evangelical
because neither "good"
So, when I hear our beautiful voiced
and talented smart
and positively energized choir director,
in her most fulsome creative rhapsody,
want to honor a composer of music
by singing his creation uniformly "straight"
I become depressed,
shocked again by left-brain monocultural dominance.
When someone reads
and/or performs their own oral interpretation
of what I have written,
and, I hear something I had not heard,
much less intended, before,
I learn something about what that person
and I may both care about
in a new resonant and/or dissonant way.
I may be challenged sometimes
but I am always flattered
Far more than the prospect
of a uniform
slavishly "straight" reading
that does not wrap in
my reader's own well-being,
hope for resonance,
Earth's healthy resilience,
I am happy to have been noticed
yet vaguely bored
and sometimes anxiously
by lack of contagious inspiration.
This great dichotomy of singing to the choir culture
that would celebrate multicultural emotion
yet straight-jackets into pre-chorded words
and notes as written,
predetermined without innovation,
without contagious color
and hope of newly enriching climates
of comparative warm re-creating accompaniment...
This is much too straight for me.
Not a healthy dichotomy
for playful music
to resonantly be.
When it occurred to me,
If I do not feel appreciated by musicians
who respect composers and lyricists
enough to support our mutually democratic innovation,
divine and more prosaic inspirations,
to make and play with music that invites new dispositions
more than repeat performances
of someone else's stay within the lines story,
Then I could enjoy choir practice,
or even feel emotionally safe
from retriggering depression's deeply entrenched history
if I were to arrive fully medicated
And so I know
my time to therapeutically invest somewhere else
Seeking rapture of well-written melody,
could only grow embraced by resonant harmony
and resilient themes of pattern
and improvised textures,
Amplification need not bury beauty,
longing or belonging,
for creation's polycultural integrity,
to remain more ecstatically divine,
does sometimes require
a warm inviting director
to remind the right-brain embellisher,
of when it is our time to stop redundant rifts
and move on to life's next more democratic piece
of not left-brain dominant writing
more than monochromatic
Copyright © Gerald Dillenbeck | Year Posted 2020