Cat Mama's One-Up Each Other

My cat is picky; my cat is persnickety. My cat likes to play with mice; my cat's best friend is a snake. My cat is aloof; my cat is stuck up. My cat ignores me; my cat writes me hate notes. My cat is snotty; my cat is snobbish. My cat is my best friend; my cat is my only friend. My cat has papers; my cat is a purebred. My cat scares the neighbors, my cat scares me. My cat is jealous; my cat is envious. My cat watches TV; my cat critiques Michael Moore’s documentaries. My cat is running for office; my cat is trumping him by a twenty-eight percent margin. Why do kitty-mamas like to Cat-Up-Each-Other? (Just between us, I would not want either of these cats).