Notes About The Poem
Written 7th August
Part 1: The Daily Parser
Part 2: Interrogation
Submitted to Silent Letters and Oxymorons Poetry Contest sponsored by Natasha L Scragg
Case File #26
CASE FILE #26 —
PART ONE — English Is a Crime Scene
Transcript of Interview — Department of Linguistic Homicide.
Recording begins 23:47.
Present: Detective, Stenographer, Various Suspects.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 1 Word: KNIFE. Condition: Fatal. K present at the scene, never used.
DETECTIVE: State your name for the record.
THE LETTER K (in "KNIFE"): ...
DETECTIVE: I said state your name.
THE LETTER K: ...
STENOGRAPHER: For the record, the witness has said nothing. As per its entire life.
DETECTIVE: You were first in line and you're telling me you did nothing?
THE LETTER K: (no comment)
DETECTIVE: That's not an answer, that's a personality.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 2 Phrase: "JUMBO SHRIMP." Suspect claims to be simultaneously massive and minuscule.
DETECTIVE: Pick a size.
JUMBO SHRIMP: I contain multitudes.
DETECTIVE: You're a snack. You don't get multitudes.
JUMBO SHRIMP: (no comment)
STENOGRAPHER: They do have a union detective. It's called Grammar.
DETECTIVE: Grammar's useless. Grammar lets this happen.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 3 Suspect: "ORIGINAL COPY," found clutching a duplicate of itself. Cannot confirm which one is real.
DETECTIVE: Which one of you is the real one.
ORIGINAL COPY: Yes.
DETECTIVE: That's not what I asked.
ORIGINAL COPY: Yes.
DETECTIVE: (to stenographer) We may need to interview it separately from itself.
STENOGRAPHER: There's only one.
DETECTIVE: That's what it WANTS us to think.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 4 Suspect: "CONTROLLED CHAOS." Interview room found in a state of extremely tidy destruction.
DETECTIVE: You trashed the room.
CONTROLLED CHAOS: I organized a disaster. There's a difference.
DETECTIVE: The room is destroyed.
CONTROLLED CHAOS: Alphabetically.
DETECTIVE: (pause) That's true, actually. I don't know what to do with that.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 5 Suspect: "ACT NATURALLY." Requested four takes before answering any question.
DETECTIVE: Where were you at the time of the incident?
ACT NATURALLY: (clears throat) Can we go again?
DETECTIVE: No. Answer.
ACT NATURALLY: (overly casual) Just existing. Very naturally. Was that natural? That felt forced.
DETECTIVE: You are the worst liar I've interviewed tonight, and I've talked to a shrimp with no size.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 6 Suspect: "SAME DIFFERENCE." Agreed and disagreed with own alibi in one breath.
DETECTIVE: Confirm or deny being at the scene.
SAME DIFFERENCE: Both. Neither. Does it matter?
DETECTIVE: Yes! That's the entire point of an alibi!
SAME DIFFERENCE: (shrugs) Same difference.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 7 Suspect: "LIVING DEAD." Pulse unconfirmed. Status as witness or victim unresolved.
DETECTIVE: Alive or dead. I need one.
LIVING DEAD: (checks own pulse) ...Yes?
DETECTIVE: If you're a victim I need a body. If you're a witness I need a statement. I currently have neither, and also somehow both.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 8 Suspect: "DEFINITELY MAYBE." Refused to confirm involvement, refused to deny it.
DETECTIVE: Were you involved?
DEFINITELY MAYBE: Absolutely. Possibly.
DETECTIVE: Pick one.
DEFINITELY MAYBE: I already did. Both.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 9 Suspect: "BITTERSWEET." Quiet in the corner. Somehow the most credible suspect tonight.
DETECTIVE: (softer) You've been sitting there a while. Anything to say?
BITTERSWEET: It's complicated. Not a dodge — genuinely both things at once. True either way.
DETECTIVE: (pause) First honest answer I've gotten all night.
EVIDENCE LOG — ITEM 10 Suspect: THE WORD "WEDNESDAY." Carries an unlicensed D.
DETECTIVE: Why do you have a D.
WEDNESDAY: (long pause) Family thing.
DETECTIVE: That's a deflection, not an explanation.
WEDNESDAY: (no comment)
Interrogation Room 2
DETECTIVE: You. "Deafening Silence." Sit down.
DEAFENING SILENCE: (sits down loudly)
DETECTIVE: How does silence get to be deafening?
DEAFENING SILENCE: You weren’t there. It was SO quiet.
DEAFENING SILENCE: (shouting, very quietly) YOU WEREN’T THERE.
Final Report Summary
Case Status: UNSOLVED — REOPENED — UNSOLVED AGAIN
Findings: Silent Letters (Local #1: K, and one D moonlighting as a family secret) said nothing. Oxymorons (Local #2: Jumbo Shrimp, Original Copy, Controlled Chaos, Act Naturally, Same Difference, Living Dead, Definitely Maybe, Bittersweet, Deafening Silence) said two things at once. Motive unclear. Language still at large.
Detective’s Closing Note: Case closed pending further investigation. Reopened pending further confusion. Recommend charging English with contradiction in the first degree and silence in the second. No one will show up to the sentencing. No one ever does.
[END TRANSCRIPT — 01:12]
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