Caramel Macchiato, Please

I’m tapping my feet to the music escaping an old man’s saxophone On main street I can feel the raindrops hit my hand I roll them in my palms like marbles From my childhood They apologize to me And I ask for what? They say, for making you feel smaller than you are I look up at the sky, water like whites from an egg Sizzling on my skin The sun breaking like the yolk Like me The old man’s sax is drowning Filling up with storm I decide the rain is too much and disappear Into a coffee shop I’m at the counter waiting when The man in front says “What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone?” It ends in a question but not the one he said Out loud. Blink 182 cuts like static through the silence I try to force my mind to the song but I can only hear the lyrics “Friday night and” “Nobody likes you” My smile is already frozen from the cold But he makes it shatter like a mirror and Gather itself on the floor. The server asks my order, slowly My face rewinds like a VCR and My smile puts itself back together “Caramel Macchiato, please.” I trudge to my home smelling of cardiac arrest Brush my teeth Spit out the coffee and distaste on my breath At night I dream of bowing in front of red gold curtains Costume only on my lips A playbill With my name an elipseys from the heaviest role Happiness People throw roses for fake smiles.