Can'T Forget You

The years have all started with January a comforting effect, a personal safety net to know past turmoils blow over and begin anew so why have I woken up in December once again After Midnight Project compelled the mirror to ask sleepily 'The Becoming, what I have become? ' The past is in conference with the present planning for the future showing flashbacks of the phases like weather I've been under shifting from an oblivious angel to a wavering clone a wavering clone to a knowing liar a knowing liar to a heartless wolf a heartless wolf to a careless chameleon a careless chameleon to...to...the answer is unknown My counselor, Blue October, notices my distraction my inability to hold conversations the results are a sweaty sickness and wanting to jump off a cliff According to these pages blank pages, I'm unfinished so many expectations to meet, plans to complete but I've started nothing, committed to nothing except donating my hours to leisure stimulating my mind only to satisfy the urge to fight and explode The diagnosis states I'm not myself taken by an anonymous survey but even the mirror shows it All the names I've constructed have became perfect paper planes I'm just Russell this time, it's all I have I always blame these feelings, it's unfair the direction of the blame I point falls to Isabel, Belle, Juliet, Myria, Anastasia, Sarah their memories I cannot forget their images I cannot erase I...I...I...(sigh) I just can't forget you