Calico, the Cat

I’m Calico, the fourth, and though you haven’t asked, I’m here to tell you what you’re thinking; so relax. The Duel, you know that poem by Eugene Field, it was all a big hoax, ‘cause the facts were kept sealed. The Old Dutch clock and the Chinese plate? well they lied. And that gingham dog? he turned tail to save his hide. My great grandcat, the calico, told me the facts. (There were no burglars; they were men from the gov’ment invading the house for some secret exper’ment.) They had a cat-of-nine-tails which they tried to use to prove cats have nine lives! Grandcat simply refused. There IS more than one way to skin cats, they were sure. Then cat got Gran’s tongue and she smiled like a Cheshire. When those scaredy-cat feds got fed up with her gag - cat and mouse game was done; cat got outa the bag. And like the cat that got the cream, she was excused. (The g-mens’ report claimed they did an "cat"opsy declaring the cause of death - curiosity.) March 1, 2014 parody of The Duel by Eugene Field contest: Parody Of A Famous Poem Poetry Contest sponsor: L. Milton Hankins