Butterfly Venom

Was it worth Butchering the butterflies We gave each other? Were they not Pretty enough? Or were they just too fragile For your unstable world? Your world of Mismatched jigsaw puzzle thoughts And drunk high school riddles Loneliness shrugging its shoulders Towards the fill in the blank future You put my name in Until you saw How ablaze My butterflies for you were Fluttering With the thoughts Of building a family Far from our hometown In a blue house With a wraparound porch Silent Fake smiles Could no longer Conceal your thoughts With A clenched jaw Casual rejection Immersed me Like the saliva underneath your tongue While feeling you Slowly pull your hand From mine It was like you were plucking Each wing off With a pair of tweezers Mutilating their worth With your sordid Bare hands Just to keep your pride And heart from Dangling by a thread All the while You scrutinized My every move Believing All the nonsensical Hometown Rumors And whispers Suffocating my name My spine Becoming blotches On a canvas Depicting Every shade Of blue and purple From the blows Of ignominious remarks You’d spit in my face But that’s no one else’s Blunder But mine I was the one Who nodded With the enraptured joy Of innocent Butterflies In my chest To the contract You had laid out Detailing the conditions of your love And the nauseating consequences I’d endure If I dare Showed disrespect To your happiness But it was hard to believe In that moment That the man who who would Gently place my hair Behind my ears And tell me how pretty I was Was the same one Who would drink To console his anger Like how he wished His mother Nurtured him growing up But that was after You’d complain That my past lovers Were never assertive Enough With me That without you I would just be A tempter Constantly tasting My lipstick in slow motion From a low lit curb With my pulse moaning For the unceasing flattery As if I already knew their name But I only Knew the shakiness Of desperation When the chair Next to me On my birthday never moved No hand to hold mine Just my own trying to Keep my spine intact But I discolored Each butterfly wing With a birthday candle Coughing and choking Through Their screams Flesh curling Into black Just like you wanted Taking with them The delicate moments of you That I’ve turned into a memory Your safe haven That I’ve once made home Is now distorted The chair I once filled Next to you Surrounded by your family Is an empty space That will never Be filled permanently Cause the charade Of your heart Being the one eviscerated Keeps you safe In your Unstable world