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Poem
Was it worth
Butchering the butterflies 
We gave each other? 

Were they not 
Pretty enough? 
Or were they just too fragile 
For your unstable world? 

Your world of
Mismatched jigsaw puzzle thoughts 
And drunk high school riddles 

Loneliness shrugging its shoulders 
Towards the fill in the blank future 
You put my name in 

Until you saw 
How ablaze 
My butterflies for you were

Fluttering 
With the thoughts 
Of building a family 

Far from our hometown 
In a blue house 
With a wraparound porch 

Silent
Fake smiles 
Could no longer 
Conceal 

your thoughts 
With 
A clenched jaw 

Casual rejection 
Immersed me 
Like the saliva underneath your tongue 

While feeling you 
Slowly pull your hand 
From mine 

It was like you were plucking 
Each wing off 
With a pair of tweezers 

Mutilating their worth 
With your sordid 
Bare hands 

Just to keep your pride 
And heart from 
Dangling by a thread 

All the while 
You scrutinized 
My every move 

Believing 
All the nonsensical 
Hometown 

Rumors 
And whispers 
Suffocating my name 

My spine 
Becoming blotches 
On a canvas 

Depicting 
Every shade 
Of blue and purple 

From the blows 
Of ignominious remarks 
You’d spit in my face 

But that’s no one else’s 
Blunder 
But mine 

I was the one 
Who nodded 
With the enraptured joy 

Of innocent 
Butterflies 
In my chest 

To the contract 
You had laid out 
Detailing the conditions of your love 

And the nauseating 
consequences 
I’d endure 

If I dare
Showed disrespect 
To your happiness 

But it was hard 
to believe 
In that moment 

That the man 
who who would 
Gently place my hair 

Behind my ears 
And tell me how 
pretty I was 

Was the same one 
Who would drink
To console his anger 

Like how he wished
His mother
Nurtured him growing up 

But that was after 
You’d complain 
That my past lovers 

Were never assertive 
Enough
With me 

That without you 
I would just be 
A tempter 

Constantly tasting 
My lipstick in slow motion 
From a low lit curb 

With my pulse moaning 
For the unceasing flattery 
As if I already knew their name 

But I only 
Knew the shakiness 
Of desperation 

When the chair 
Next to me 
On my birthday never moved 

No hand to hold mine 
Just my own trying to 
Keep my spine intact 

But I discolored 
Each butterfly wing 
With a birthday candle 

Coughing and choking 
Through 
Their screams

Flesh curling 
Into black 
Just like you wanted 

Taking with them
The delicate moments of you 
That I’ve turned into a memory 

Your safe haven 
That I’ve once made home 
Is now distorted 

The chair I once filled 
Next to you 
Surrounded by your family 

Is an empty space
That will never 
Be filled permanently 
 
Cause the charade 
Of your heart
Being the one eviscerated

Keeps you safe 
In your 
Unstable world
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