But It's All I Have
A day, once, when you were just a name.
A name, once, and then it all changed.
Changed, once, and never again.
God, please— never again.
I don't want to look back one day
And think on these memories
And realize that the pain has numbed
Yes it hurts
Yes— yes, it hurts
And I don't want it to stop
I don't want you to go away
I don't want healing to come
I don't want you to be a scar
I learn to get used to
I want this to fester,
To bleed slow and thick
Stuck like initials carved in a tree
I want your smile to still
Steal my words
Even from memory
I know time is a painkiller
And there's no way to stop it
But I'll scratch and claw
The entire way into the pit
As I tumble from this brink of insanity
Where I have built my home
And back into the world of the living
And a sense of normalcy
Screaming your name
And begging for you to save me
I know I can live without you.
This pain isn't a part of me.
I know.
But I want it— God, I want it.
I'll stand barefoot on the broken glass
Of our shattered, messy past
I’ll grip it 'til my knuckles turn white
And I’ll love you ‘til the day I die
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
