Burning Desire - Bawdy

[This is a cleaned up version of a very old joke. Ive sat on it for a week or two debating whether it might still be a little too rude. Ultimately, I’ve decided to risk it with profuse apologies to anyone who hoped they were about to read a romantic sonnet.] *** Sam and Suzy parked the car and started making out They’d got quite lewd and fully nude then Sam began to shout The car was now on fire and the flames he couldn’t handle He yelled, ‘I thought I told you not to light that scented candle.’ They leapt out of the car and all their clothes went up in smoke And then Sam tripped and hollered, ‘Ouch my blinking leg is broke.’ He tried to hop but then he had to curse his rotten luck His foot slipped in a crevice and was well and truly stuck He said, ‘Go get some help and say they can’t come soon enough.’ ‘I can’t do that,’ she said, ‘because I’m stood here in the buff.’ He spotted an old shoe which seemed an unexpected oddity, ‘Hold that down below and it will cover up your modesty.’ Soon she reached the town they’d driven through so recently And so she held the shoe in place to keep her decency She only had the shoe to hide herself from all the town Some tried hard to not look up and some to not look down She stopped a man and said, ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got a truck, because my boyfriend Sam needs help, he’s well and truly stuck.’ The man said, ‘I’m so sorry, Miss, but I can’t lead you on, from where I’m standing your poor fella’s simply too far gone.’