Bumps

She wore yo ho hose With pumps on her toes Which helped to give her a little lift Along the bar she would pirouette Her auburn hair bunned in a net And her face rather flushed from the port If you took her for a spin It wasn't in your car you'd been But a quick quick slow across the floor And when at last she'd had enough She might pick up smooth or rough Most often one with his nose aglow They would trip back to his place Each with a smile upon their face And discover how the key went in the door But one time it wouldn't go So her garments were on show When she clambered up the ivy round the back Her pickled beau then fell asleep While she slipped down the stairs so steep And a new escort took him off to a cell What a shock when he awoke I can't repeat the words he spoke Suffice to say his next trip was to court Not the lady in this tale But in handcuffs feeling frail Where he was fined a rather mighty sum One press man who was there Made his notes with all due care Saying 'Here's the bright spark of a dull day' Is there a moral to this tale Maybe just that when your nose is pale It picks up on trouble more than when it's glowing red And the lady in the pumps Poor girl she awoke with such bumps From bouncing down all those steps the night before… ©Rhumour February 7th 2009 Edited October 2015