Broken

Every time you walk into my space, Everything that’s real about me, Gets erased. Somehow, it always ends up My mistake— Comatose I am, to my own fate. I have decades, years Not knowing how-- Can I fix this ever, If not now? Every step closer, you’re closing in on me, You say cruel things And then say you’re “helping me” There’s always Doubt— anxiety needs approval: I’m still inside this hole and You won’t hasten my removal. Will you leave me stuck here? I bend and bow, and Bow and bend then try again, somehow- try once more, again, to get “me” back on track, Sometimes it feels like “me” is Never coming back. Broken me feels lost and helpless, Ripped with pain, Broken is still broken, No matter who’s to blame. You become a non-person It happens slow— you don’t deserve to be respected, didn’t you know? Everything you say is questioned, your life is made a lie-- You broke their hearts, you nasty person, just lay down and die! Suffering’s hard, and so is pain, But there’s no one here to stop me, except me, and its become a game... Of keeping tabs and hoping you’ll never see how broken I've become- Yet your words against me are only lies, one day the curse will be undone. One day, you’ll get a glimpse of your iceberg cold Heart The Deja vu police’ll Catch up to you when speeding on a lark, And ticket you for lying to GD, pretending-- You were only playing Peacemaker, Your devotion neverending….. Oh the Horror of admitting You were in fact, Ego-sitting! Then it will be plain, It was YOU who commanded me to wear the Scarlet Letter, Not because I sinned, but because you needed to be “Better”. But until then, ‘dear’ Christian(s) Who committed me to this Hole, You currently offer generous condolences to Yourself, not me, the “Infidel”… Parading your mirrored mask, Your friendly smile--now its on, now its off-- just like a faucet While behind closed doors you Spread derogatory gossip— And there can only be an ugly end to this Charitable epistle, I wash my hands of them, and wait for their delusionary lies’ dismissal. Those who stake their lives on Crying Wolf may Seem to have the upper hand, yet Gd sees through their fake disguises-- and always remains in command. Patiently waiting with unseen surprises, Blatantly ripping off Their dark, dirty disguises.