L Milton Hankins | + Follow Poet |
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Brighter With Attitude

The sun is struggling to make an appearance,
To break through thick blankets of dark clouds
Early spring flowers note its disappearance,
Observing the day garbed in bleak shrouds.

Breaking through thick blankets of dark clouds
Mother Nature suggests waiting a day or so
Observing the day garbed in bleak shrouds,
Reminding us this is how April weather can go.

Mother Nature suggests waiting a day or so
Spring promising clear days of sunshine ahead
Reminding us this is how April weather can go,
When I first awakened I felt like staying in bed!

Spring promising clear days of sunshine ahead,
My thoughts rejuvenated, in a positive vein
My day will not be ruled by what’s overhead,
And those early spring flowers do need the rain.

My thoughts rejuvenated, in a positive vein,
I set about making the day brighter with attitude
And those early spring flowers do need the rain
So, I feel much better, choosing not to brood.

I set about making the day brighter with attitude
So, I feel much better, choosing not to brood.

written April 5, 2022
[modified with a repeated
couplet ending]

Copyright © L Milton Hankins | Year Posted 2022

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Andrea Dietrich Date: 4/5/2022 7:02:00 PM I like the cool modification, Milt. I see why you suggest pantoum for your contest. You sure know your way with that form Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 4/5/2022 9:50:00 PM It's one of my top three favorite forms to write. I enjoy reading them as much as I do writing them, too. Thanks for your thoughts, Andrea. Someday, when I get time and it's not so late, I'll share my philosophy about poetry forms with you.

Gordon Mcconnell Date: 4/5/2022 1:28:00 PM Great pen Milton, really enjoyed it with the emphasis on spring really lifts one. I thought it was here the past couple of weeks here in Scotland but this week its cold and wet! Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 4/5/2022 2:42:00 PM When I was in Scotland, it rained cats and dogs the whole time I was there (Moffett). It's a beautiful country. Thanks for the read and for your thoughts, Gordon. Hope spring blesses you really soon.

Caren Krutsinger Date: 4/5/2022 10:38:00 AM Spring always lives up to her promises. This is a great reminder. Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 4/5/2022 11:12:00 AM Yes, she does. She can be very fickle, however.

Marco Chies Date: 4/5/2022 10:02:00 AM Milton, this is not a poem. It's a poetry class. It takes patience and knowledge in structuring these sentences to reach this surprising result. Thank you for your kindness in creating and sharing this legitimate piece of art, which serves both for entertainment and for the enrichment of the writer's discursive techniques. Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 4/5/2022 11:38:00 AM Wow, such a lift. You really elevated my spirits! I don't deserve that kind of applause!

Jeff Kyser Date: 4/5/2022 9:38:00 AM Ah, this somewhat answers a question I had some time ago about these forms where the lines are repeated in later stanzas. I see "To break through..." is replaced by "Breaking through..." later. I have wondered - had a case where "For xxx" needed to be replaced by "but xxx", but was not sure if that was legit. Looks like it is. Allowed, but not preferred? How close does a repeated line have to be to its original? (and I'm tankful for the rain!) Login to Reply I Am Anaya Date: 4/6/2022 5:42:00 PM Hi Jeff, I was confused about the villanelle...when I notice that Milton did not use the lower & upper cases bBc/BCb/BC/b/BCb/BCBb- I suggested this when I saw that Milton captilized his entire villanelle! Thanks for your help. Jeff Kyser Date: 4/5/2022 12:38:00 PM Well, it seems reasonable, yes, to change a verbal form or something very minor. I've struggled with some of these forms that repeat lines for this reason, and I think you're right to make a minor change rather than to have it not make sense, or worse, in my case, avoid the form most of the time. Common sense in your case, a bit to much of a pharisee in mine! Thanks! L Milton Hankins Date: 4/5/2022 11:41:00 AM Oh gosh, Jeff. Don't use me as an example, because I break what I consider senseless rules all the time! Actually, I'm pretty sure that the repeated lines should be exact. It's just that I don't always do that, but I don't stray very far, maybe with a verb form. I sometimes will put a note at the bottom explaining that I have modified the form, but not always. I've always been a rule-breaker, especially if I see no reason for it. I'm not a purist. I think forms are to be guidelines, not strictures.