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Breathing in transpired words

Moss has grown on what was new Items still bagged but in constant use Birds fly in pairs ignoring the view I'm held in place whilst everything is loose Running late to join a queue So much slack within this noose

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Vickey Rhymer

Date: 1/11/2024 1:59:00 PM

Do you reread your writing ?I have found as it is derived from our own well it is remarkable what is drawn to light .And sometimes as Freud said, a cigar is but a cigar.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/11/2024 2:02:00 PM

It was inspired by my view as I walked but it's not about a roof if that's what you're asking x

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 1/10/2024 3:30:00 PM

The world in this poem seems to be tipped upside-down. Even if your late, I hope you arrive in time. I enjoyed.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/12/2024 2:54:00 PM

Thank you Hilda, I arrived in plenty of time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the poem. Appreciated x

David Kavanagh

Date: 1/10/2024 12:22:00 PM

You really are on a lyrical journey Dilly, and Pink Floyd’s, ‘Breathe’ comes to mind, here, (check it out if not familiar) this one is easily on par, it’s got that helplessly drifting through life vibe, how do you tap into this stuff? Keep your feet on the ground and don’t answer that question, brilliant! Cheers David

David Kavanagh
Date: 1/10/2024 1:17:00 PM

Of course not the Floyd guys were mostly tripping aimlessly when writing songs, at least you had a goal, and never tripped up, and now you’ve explained, it actually makes the poem more remarkable

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/10/2024 12:47:00 PM

Hope I haven't ruined it!

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/10/2024 12:36:00 PM

Thank you David, I literally saw some moss on a roof that was only new in summer and they had a clock on the windowsill wrapped in plastic, two birds flew over and I wondered if they were friends, something swayed in the wind, I was running slightly late for school pick up but usually just to join the line, then I needed another word to rhyme with use and thought noose was a bit novel especially with the contrast with slack. All in a 5 minute walk :) thanks so much for the fab comment :)