Notes About The Poem

Collaboration Contest by Mystic Rose entitled Breathe

Breathe

 

When the night claims you like a wayward leaf of old 
and it takes you to the caves where anything turns gold 
you don't ask any questions and you don't dare breathe 
you just follow her, like a light weight tumbled weed 

Down the passages of dark, down the staircase of rune 
every step a little deeper than the crevices of moon 
you can almost taste the air, on your tonguing clepe 
you can down the stars of heaven in one single leap

Taking you by the waist it shall dance you through
the elixir of happiness when your feeling down n' blue 
you just thank the Lord for the magic of this gift 
all you need is skin n' eyes to cross her lowly rift 

When night claims you like a wayward leaf of old 
and takes you to her caves, all etched with gold 
don't ask her any questions just go ahead breathe 
no, don't ask her anything at all, just breathe, 

yes breathe...

 

Written by: Mystic Rose

 


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Breathe

Yes, breathe in the magically sparkling air
flutter along without worry or care
heart pillowed in comfort and such peaceful ease
and if this is a dream, I ask, don't wake me please

Please do not wake me from this sweet happiness
this soft, silky feel of a golden caress
bewitched in her spell of a hypnotic dance
passions enslaved to a hungry romance

Oh, how I long to stay here in this place.
beyond all that I'd hoped for, to feel her embrace
with treasure as rich as the deep Spanish sea
my heaven of where I have so longed to be

When night claims you like a wayward leaf of old
and takes you to her caves all etched with gold
bathe in her music, and in magic, believe
there, deeply, in all of her mystery, breathe.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



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Date: 1/28/2016 4:48:00 PM
I like this very much. As a matter of fact I like both versions equally. You have tremendous talent, Jeannie. Are you or have you published any books.
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Jeannie Cronin
Date: 1/28/2016 5:56:00 PM
Thank you, Daniel. Like you, I share the dream!!!
Date: 1/4/2016 11:33:00 AM
Vienna performed a great introduction, and you followed suit, rising with ease to the occasion, Jeannie! Well done! ~ Regards // paul
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Cronin Avatar
Jeannie Cronin
Date: 1/4/2016 11:17:00 PM
After 3 failed attempts, I was able to post my spiritual version. Let me know what you think.
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 1/4/2016 2:44:00 PM
Of course! [This one can be understood as being both romantic and spiritual; leaves the reader free to draw his own conclusions.]
Cronin Avatar
Jeannie Cronin
Date: 1/4/2016 2:26:00 PM
Thank You, Paul. I so appreciate your kindness. I also wrote this same piece from a spiritual rather than a Fantasy/ Romance perspective. Not sure which one I like more. Would you like to review it?
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