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Breathe-Spiritual

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My first pass on the collaboration write offered by Mystic Rose found me in a spiritual place and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to write it. It was not entered, of course, as it doesn't fit her Fantasy/ Romance theme. Had Mystic left the theme to the poets interpretation, I would have entered this. Thank you, Mystic, for such creative inspiration. You are most certainly a poetess to aspire to.

Collaboration Contest by Mystic Rose entitled Breathe Breathe When the night claims you like a wayward leaf of old and it takes you to the caves where anything turns gold you don't ask any questions and you don't dare breathe you just follow her, like a light weight tumbled weed Down the passages of dark, down the staircase of rune every step a little deeper than the crevices of moon you can almost taste the air, on your tonguing clepe you can down the stars of heaven in one single leap Taking you by the waist it shall dance you through the elixir of happiness when your feeling down n' blue you just thank the Lord for the magic of this gift all you need is skin n' eyes to cross her lowly rift When night claims you like a wayward leaf of old and takes you to her caves, all etched with gold don't ask her any questions just go ahead breathe no, don't ask her anything at all, just breathe, yes breathe... Written by: Mystic Rose Yes, breathe in the magic and mysterious air floating along without worry or care my soul has found comfort and such peaceful ease and if this is a dream, I ask, don't wake me please Please do not wake me from this sweet happiness this gift of Gods touch is a soothing caress remember, my leaf has grown withered and old and by faith I've been gifted these sights to behold Oh, how I long to stay here in this space It's more than I'd hoped for as my resting place but if gifted as only a glimpse of to be how blessed are the faithful whom have eyes to see When night claims you as a wayward leaf of old and takes you to the place all etched with gold bathe in her comfort with all you believe your work has been done, now it's time to just breathe

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 1/5/2016 8:00:00 PM
A very well-written verse; easy to read; easy to understand; continuity of thought and beautifully woven together. Bent, in fact, does seem to work in making one a poet. Nicely done. I enjoyed reading this.
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Jeannie Amos
Date: 1/5/2016 8:25:00 PM
Awesome, thanks Joe!
Date: 1/5/2016 6:14:00 AM
This is also beautiful and spiritually inspired, Jeannie...hard to choose between your two writes, but I feel that the first attempt might be slightly more compatible with Vienna's train of thought. ~ regards // paul
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Jeannie Amos
Date: 1/5/2016 8:08:00 AM
Agreed Paul, thank you for the review. I appreciate your taking the time to visit and comment.
Date: 1/4/2016 11:25:00 PM
VEry nicely penned ...best wishes
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Jeannie Amos
Date: 1/4/2016 11:47:00 PM
Thank you, Joseph. If you would be so kind, I would love to know which version you feel is the better write.