Bottems Up

Bottoms Up[ I was looking around for a new winter sport Something rigorous but not a dangerous sort A good friend of mine suggested to me “if you can walk, you can cross country ski” So I shopped around at a sporting goods store It was a nice discount I was looking for Soon I found a pair that didn’t cost a lot And I got a lesson right on the spot The very next day; don’t you know? The ground was covered with eight inches of snow So I packed my skis into the van And headed to the golf course, a sensible plan Others like me had the same thing in mind So I strapped on my skies and waited in line The weather was great and the conditions superior But in no time at all, I was on my posterior I dusted myself off and started to glide Just as two experts jostled me on my side I lost concentration and didn’t see a bump There I was again, flat on my rump Never discouraged, I stood tall once more Starting to feel the perspiration pour But just as I felt I was starting to get it Back on my derriere; should I forget it? Never! I said to myself with resolve This is a puzzle I can solve Just then I steered right into a bush And landed sans dignity right on my tush Two ladies came over to help me up I was whining now like an orphaned pup “I’m sorry ladies to be so troublesome But would you mind rubbing my aching bum?” They left in a hurry as you might think Actually quicker than a wink I made it home with a sore keister Hoping I’ll feel better come next Easter Next day I saw my good friend at work And squelched the urge to call him a jerk And while removing our lunches from the office fridge I explained my plans to take up Bridge