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Bottoms Up[


I was looking around for a new winter sport
Something rigorous but not a dangerous sort
A good friend of mine suggested to me
“if you can walk, you can cross country ski”

So I shopped around at a sporting goods store
It was a nice discount I was looking for
Soon I found a pair that didn’t cost a lot
And I got a lesson right on the spot

The very next day; don’t you know?
The ground was covered with eight inches of snow
So I packed my skis into the van
 And headed to the golf course, a sensible plan

Others like me had the same thing in mind
So I strapped on my skies and waited in line
The weather was great and the conditions superior
But in no time at all, I was on my posterior

I dusted myself off and started to glide
Just as two experts jostled me on my side
I lost concentration and didn’t see a bump
There I was again, flat on my rump

Never discouraged, I stood tall once more
Starting to feel the perspiration pour
But just as I felt I was starting to get it
Back on my derriere; should I forget it?

Never!  I said to myself with resolve
This is a puzzle I can solve
Just then I steered right into a bush
And landed sans dignity right on my tush

Two ladies came over to help me up
I was whining now like an orphaned pup
“I’m sorry ladies to be so troublesome
But would you mind rubbing my aching bum?”

They left in a hurry as you might think
Actually quicker than a wink
I made it home with a sore keister
Hoping I’ll feel better come next Easter

Next day I saw my good friend at work
And squelched the urge to call him a jerk
And while removing our lunches from the office fridge
I explained my plans to take up Bridge

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