Doug Vinson Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

The world we create around us -

 

How honest is it?

Bloody Feet Upon the Slab

That tiny pause to skirt the truth, half-reals you'd paraphrase,
The subtle softly spinning gyre of cunning in your gaze,
Vague reflections from your skin - a shedding, sheltering plaque,
All concerned syllables sent swiftly bouncing off your back. 

Ever adrift on fiction's lost sea, never blown to shore,
Too late I saw your hidden thirst - too easy to ignore
Evasion and avoidance - thus was piloted your ship,
You'd dance around, not run aground - you gave us both the slip.

I failed your buried, rooted pain, I missed the reddened tracks,
All facts would step aside your rime of displaced parallax,
I slighted each secluded wound, the false-trod thoroughfare,
So ends a life of wary silence, cloaked mutely in despair.

No one knew you as I did, my reward there sadly sure,
I'd like to think away now, yet the hard truths are too pure,
Blinded, perhaps, by my own fear, I let out line for years,
And all my stock of forward time now fills with bloody tears.

Upon my closing sight of you, muzzled words within your eyes,
Your final hour released you not - you'd walked too long on lies.

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Anne-Lise Andresen April 16, 2017 at 5:52 AM - Congratulations on your seventh place in "Best New Poems", Doug :) - Great ... a 7 - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Doug Vinson April 16, 2017 at 3:46 PM 7s everywhere... : P Thanks, Anne-Lise. I hope this spring is going well for you. : )

Gary Bateman April 13, 2017 at 8:56 PM Hello Doug, After reading this very powerful and marvelously articulated rhyme -- all I could think of was . . . WOW!! Your closing couplet pulls it all-together. An absolute SEVEN/FAVE in my book. I enjoyed this rhyme very much. Cheers and Best, Gary Doug Vinson April 13, 2017 at 8:58 PM Hey Gary. Thank you, Sir! : )

Debbie Duncan April 13, 2017 at 1:16 AM Awesome words :) 7 and more. Doug Vinson April 13, 2017 at 6:02 PM Thank you, Debbie. : )

Andrea Dietrich April 9, 2017 at 5:42 PM I found a good way to see your less recent poems since I am always searching for poems of yours I have not read. This one has become one of your "BEST" and I am enjoying seeing your poems from that list. Had to stop and read it. WOW. I see why it is one of your best.This is really great writing. The closing couplet is perfect for it. You chose your words very well in this gem, Doug. SEVEN Doug Vinson April 10, 2017 at 11:27 AM Thanks, Andrea. : ) How we live our lives....

Darren White April 9, 2017 at 1:13 AM Wow Doug, I am out of words, after reading your two-liner, this hit me like a train. There is so much in there I can relate to that is notr even funny anymore. I read all the comments below. 7 and fav. Doug Vinson April 9, 2017 at 10:37 AM Thank you, Darren. : ) Most of us can probably do with more honesty in our lives. Yet how far do we go? Not saying 100% - I don't know how that would work in most families and societies.

White Wolf March 22, 2017 at 2:54 AM So glad I found this one, Doug! This one is up there with that sonnet of yours "The Seeker." I like to believe that the truth will always prevail, in the end anyway! I'm adding this to my Crane-Bag! Fav. Doug Vinson March 22, 2017 at 7:45 AM Okay, I had to look up "Crane-Bag." ; )

Deborah Burch March 20, 2017 at 7:50 PM (*tear*) times were different then...generations brought up on the wing...young and barely taught themselves...remnants of societies past...stoic...seen and not heard the admonition...truth always elusive and guarded...Doug you have done very well!! :) Big Hugggs! Deb Doug Vinson March 21, 2017 at 1:57 PM Whew, Deb - heck of a comment there. I hear you on the "stoic" - my grandparents talking about their grandparents - a different world.

Lynn Marie March 19, 2017 at 3:41 AM A magnificent sonnet layered with meaning, deeply felt. The lengths people go to hide their true selves can be so destructive and life shattering not only to self but many, causing irreparable damage. I love the philosophy and candor of your words. Superb writing Doug :-) a fave, 7+ blessings, lynn Doug Vinson March 19, 2017 at 1:36 PM Hi Lynn. : ) Thank you!

Eileen Manassian March 18, 2017 at 10:09 PM This is intriguing. The deeper meanings waiting to be taken in to the core. What absoluely floored me was..."muzzled words within your eyes". Wish I could play with words like that. Eileen Manassian March 19, 2017 at 1:52 AM I knew this was a deep poem, but I didn't get all the nuances. Thanks for elaborating for me. I know when poetry is left "deliberately ambiguous" a writer makes application from personal experiences and interacts with the text. I wish I could write this way. I need to learn to be more mysterious in my lines. :) Thanks for the post. Doug Vinson March 19, 2017 at 1:21 AM 1.) Not a problem, Eileen - "absoluely" works just fine - especially after having as many drinks as I did tonight. I appreciate your comments, bigtime, and I too like that line. I think that reading a lot and writing a lot helps us in our expression. Doug Vinson March 19, 2017 at 1:20 AM 2.) Deeper meanings - I left things deliberately ambiguous, though I know people who have had kids die from addiction (hard for me to see more sadness), and that suggested itself. Line 6 - "hidden thirst" could be alcoholism with all the dissembling that often goes with it. Line 9 - "reddened tracks" could be from injecting drugs, same deal. Doug Vinson March 19, 2017 at 1:19 AM 3.) But no - nothing really specific is intended, rather than a person who is unable to be open about themselves. "Reddened tracks" means that the 'bloody feet' from "walking on lies" were long present, and that the speaker disregarded them - and indeed, was complicit in the deal, i.e. line 16's "bloody tears." Doug Vinson March 19, 2017 at 1:18 AM 4.) Little bit pertinent -didn't think about this until right now - to my paternal grandfather, who was not an easy man to know - born 1903 in a hard world that continued for a long time, that didn't encourage him to be open about his feelings. Late in his life, he was in bed and I came in and sat beside him and told him that I was glad for all he'd done, and for who he was. Such 'open' statements were not usual in his family and upbringing. He got a tear in his eye. Eileen Manassian March 18, 2017 at 10:10 PM ooopsss...typo. That was ABSOLUTELY. ;)

Ilene Bauer March 18, 2017 at 5:03 PM wow, i'm so glad i got to read the entire poem! this is a masterpiece, doug... Doug Vinson March 19, 2017 at 1:17 AM Daggone - thank you for the high praise, Ilene. : ) And another ---> : ) Doug Vinson March 19, 2017 at 12:52 AM Daggone - thank you for the high praise, Ilene. : ) And another ---> : )

Charlie Smith March 18, 2017 at 2:04 PM Most times blindness is self inflicted. Brilliant write Doug... Doug Vinson March 18, 2017 at 2:06 PM Ahoy, Captain! Thank you, Charlie. : )