Notes About The Poem

These two lines popped into my head one day, and later became the ending of a longer poem that went to sonnet status then kept expanding to 14 or 15 syllables per line and ended with 18 lines.  Sometimes, life is like that.

 

Than I saw that the worthy Brian Strand has a current contest for two-line poems, so, as they say, what the hey....

Bloody Feet

Upon my closing sight of you, blinded words were in your eyes,
Your final hour released you not - you'd walked too long on lies.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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Duncan Avatar
April 12, 2017 at 6:22 PM
Love it :)
Vinson Avatar
April 12, 2017 at 6:50 PM
Thanks, Debbie. Cheers, Doug.
Rodrigues Avatar
April 11, 2017 at 11:44 PM
Thought-provoking write
Vinson Avatar
April 12, 2017 at 6:49 PM
Hey Kim. And blessedly short. ; )
White Avatar
April 9, 2017 at 1:09 AM
THAT is painful... especially if you are sitting, waiting for truth or something the like.
Vinson Avatar
April 9, 2017 at 10:38 AM
Indeed - some lives end that way.
Deo Avatar
April 6, 2017 at 10:05 PM
Too sad, and too true! Shalom. Of course, a SEVEN! Anil Deo
Vinson Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 11:08 AM
Cheers, Anil. Happy Spring. : )
Chamatete  Avatar
March 27, 2017 at 9:01 PM
This piece shines in every way. A solid 7. Excellent Doug
Vinson Avatar
March 27, 2017 at 10:00 PM
Hey Kunda. : ) Thank you.
Dietrich Avatar
March 22, 2017 at 6:16 PM
short but mind blowing at the same time. Love it!
Vinson Avatar
March 22, 2017 at 8:25 PM
Cheers, Andrea. Better to say it all - some day it may be too late.
Wolf Avatar
March 22, 2017 at 2:41 AM
You sure can write, Doug! This has enticed me to search for the other poem now! And best of luck in the contest mate!
Vinson Avatar
March 22, 2017 at 7:41 AM
A'ight den, Budgie. : )
Ricci Avatar
March 21, 2017 at 4:42 AM
Wow Doug. Good Morning. In just two lines you managed to tell a mini story and life. Bloody Feed indeed. Even in the final hour lies will never release. Good luck with the contest. Well done
Vinson Avatar
March 21, 2017 at 1:47 PM
Thanks, Lisa. I hope things are well, over your way.
Pinet Avatar
March 20, 2017 at 8:39 AM
Your mind set flows onto the page and we can relate with you and where your words lead us... the hypocrisy of truth. Emile.
Vinson Avatar
March 21, 2017 at 1:46 PM
Hey Emile. : ) To think of it - even on one's deathbed, not to be able to tell the truth....
Onclaud Avatar
March 19, 2017 at 2:00 PM
you blow me away, this is really greeat, doug... huggs
Vinson Avatar
March 19, 2017 at 7:27 PM
Thank you so much, Nette. : )
Marie Avatar
March 19, 2017 at 3:27 AM
A lot of impact for so few words. The title fits sooo good.... anything less than the truth ....usually ends up a mess. Excellent writing. blessings, lynn
Vinson Avatar
March 19, 2017 at 1:40 PM
Thank you, Lynn. Yeah, agreed - though think of all the "little white lies" we commonly tell, using them as social lubricants, i.e. "Fine" when asked how we are doing, even if it's not true. I guess we have to draw the line somewhere.
Wanter Avatar
March 18, 2017 at 6:48 PM
I sense "revenge." Really gripping anyway.
Vinson Avatar
March 19, 2017 at 12:47 AM
Ahoy, Sunlite. : ) No, not "revenge," though I'd burn through several of the danged 400 character limits for responses were I to really go for it. I really was thinking of the total, unvarnished truth, and how few of us speak it. Quite introverted myself, have always been sensitive to what's unsaid - and it is legion in most people - have seen it in their eyes, their body language, etc. If there really is an "et cetera" there. ; P
Green Avatar
March 18, 2017 at 6:09 PM
Definitely deep my friend, two lines, dark thoughts. I love that opening line. It says so much. Bravo Doug and good luck in the contest.
Vinson Avatar
March 19, 2017 at 12:38 AM
DUDE just glad to see you back - 9 days without a Chris Green posting holy moly.... But am newer that you to PoetrySoup and have already taken longer breaks that that - Cheers, Doug.
Bauer Avatar
March 18, 2017 at 5:01 PM
i can see why you'd want to hold on to these lines - they are wonderful! the last 6 words are perfect...
Vinson Avatar
March 19, 2017 at 12:37 AM
Hey Ilene. : ) Gracias - but you know - I always seem to "miss" Brian Strand; perhaps we are different species. ; )
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