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Bloody Feet

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These two lines popped into my head one day, and later became the ending of a longer poem that went to sonnet status then kept expanding to 14 or 15 syllables per line and ended with 18 lines. Sometimes, life is like that.

Than I saw that the worthy Brian Strand has a current contest for two-line poems, so, as they say, what the hey....

Upon my closing sight of you, blinded words were in your eyes, Your final hour released you not - you'd walked too long on lies.

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Debbie Duncan

Date: 4/12/2017 6:22:00 PM

Love it :)

Doug Vinson
Date: 4/12/2017 6:50:00 PM

Thanks, Debbie. Cheers, Doug.

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 4/11/2017 11:44:00 PM

Thought-provoking write

Doug Vinson
Date: 4/12/2017 6:49:00 PM

Hey Kim. And blessedly short. ; )

Darren White

Date: 4/9/2017 1:09:00 AM

THAT is painful... especially if you are sitting, waiting for truth or something the like.

Doug Vinson
Date: 4/9/2017 10:38:00 AM

Indeed - some lives end that way.

Anil Deo

Date: 4/6/2017 10:05:00 PM

Too sad, and too true! Shalom. Of course, a SEVEN! Anil Deo

Doug Vinson
Date: 4/7/2017 11:08:00 AM

Cheers, Anil. Happy Spring. : )

Kunda Chamatete

Date: 3/27/2017 9:01:00 PM

This piece shines in every way. A solid 7. Excellent Doug

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/27/2017 10:00:00 PM

Hey Kunda. : ) Thank you.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/22/2017 6:16:00 PM

short but mind blowing at the same time. Love it!

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/22/2017 8:25:00 PM

Cheers, Andrea. Better to say it all - some day it may be too late.

White Wolf

Date: 3/22/2017 2:41:00 AM

You sure can write, Doug! This has enticed me to search for the other poem now! And best of luck in the contest mate!

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/22/2017 7:41:00 AM

A'ight den, Budgie. : )

Lisa Ricci

Date: 3/21/2017 4:42:00 AM

Wow Doug. Good Morning. In just two lines you managed to tell a mini story and life. Bloody Feed indeed. Even in the final hour lies will never release. Good luck with the contest. Well done

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/21/2017 1:47:00 PM

Thanks, Lisa. I hope things are well, over your way.

Emile Pinet

Date: 3/20/2017 8:39:00 AM

Your mind set flows onto the page and we can relate with you and where your words lead us... the hypocrisy of truth. Emile.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/21/2017 1:46:00 PM

Hey Emile. : ) To think of it - even on one's deathbed, not to be able to tell the truth....

Nette Onclaud

Date: 3/19/2017 2:00:00 PM

you blow me away, this is really greeat, doug... huggs

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/19/2017 7:27:00 PM

Thank you so much, Nette. : )

Lynn Marie

Date: 3/19/2017 3:27:00 AM

A lot of impact for so few words. The title fits sooo good.... anything less than the truth ....usually ends up a mess. Excellent writing. blessings, lynn

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/19/2017 1:40:00 PM

Thank you, Lynn. Yeah, agreed - though think of all the "little white lies" we commonly tell, using them as social lubricants, i.e. "Fine" when asked how we are doing, even if it's not true. I guess we have to draw the line somewhere.

Sunlite Wanter

Date: 3/18/2017 6:48:00 PM

I sense "revenge." Really gripping anyway.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/19/2017 12:47:00 AM

Ahoy, Sunlite. : ) No, not "revenge," though I'd burn through several of the danged 400 character limits for responses were I to really go for it. I really was thinking of the total, unvarnished truth, and how few of us speak it. Quite introverted myself, have always been sensitive to what's unsaid - and it is legion in most people - have seen it in their eyes, their body language, etc. If there really is an "et cetera" there. ; P

Chris Green

Date: 3/18/2017 6:09:00 PM

Definitely deep my friend, two lines, dark thoughts. I love that opening line. It says so much. Bravo Doug and good luck in the contest.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/19/2017 12:38:00 AM

DUDE just glad to see you back - 9 days without a Chris Green posting holy moly.... But am newer that you to PoetrySoup and have already taken longer breaks that that - Cheers, Doug.

Ilene Bauer

Date: 3/18/2017 5:01:00 PM

i can see why you'd want to hold on to these lines - they are wonderful! the last 6 words are perfect...

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/19/2017 12:37:00 AM

Hey Ilene. : ) Gracias - but you know - I always seem to "miss" Brian Strand; perhaps we are different species. ; )