Blizzard In the Himalayas -- Revised

David, you have not posted lately. Decided to check you other works so here I am with your very first. Well, I'm no expert myself, but I like the first one. Have a good one, David. :)

David, I wanted to visit your first poem and happy I did, well, I like both haikus really but that last line of the second one ' a deep silence mourns' is beautiful and thanks so much for visiting my poetry today . . .

Well call me crazy, I kinda liked them both!

I like the first one myself. Remove the capitalization on the first one and it will be more haiku like.

I like them both. :O) Well done. :O) Keep up with the great work. Keep on penning. Thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful and creative talents with us. We all truly appreciate it. *S* Cynthia

hmm, kept clicking on things and ended up down here again. get a new one up for me to see!!

by the way, our bed is California King. I LovE it!!

I like line one of the second one best, but the second two lines of the first one. If that helps any!!

Great one. But we should follow Debbie's advice. Love DavidXXX rajat

The first is more haiku like. You are coloring the readers perception of the scene by using adjectives like screech & howl. haiku is predominantly a verse of nouns. Try using this guide, it's the clearest synopsis of what a haiku is http://www.graceguts.com/essays/haiku-checklist Light & Love

David haiku has only 2 parts, two of the lines are connected grammatically & conceptually & the 3rd line leaps! slightly to something which is a small surprise but which would be possible to see in the same 'frame' if the original image was a snapshot. In the 1st one your subjects are wind/snow/ silence if you wanted to make this a haiku it would look like this (the wind howls/across the vale buried in snow:the scent of firewood) You can't have both a howling wind & silence. Light & Love

Hi Dave...reading your introductory poem on Soup....like the change from loud noise to silence...can picture your blizzard picture. I think out of the two I prefer the first...there a better flow to it. // paul

I like the first one - more definite :) Dark and eery, David! Great job

I like the picture this poem gives. Very descriptive. love phyl

I read a story this morning about people being trapped by a rare October blizzard in the Himalayas, Katmandu, Nepal. The storm that hit was the remnants of a cyclone that hit India earlier in the week. What struck me about the story was a lady’s comment after this storm – 30 hours nestled in sleeping bags, the wind from the storm sounded like being in a helicopter . . . when the winds had subsided and the weather had cleared it was not the sun that I noticed . . . It was the silence.