Blank

Blank; I spent my days talking a lot; I tell a lot of things about myself, I tell a lot of things about my dad, my mom, my brother, my sister; At the end of it all, I ask myself why. Some days I can feel myself bearing down upon her; She too deserves an attending ear; Who listens without pardon; Who asks about her; What she has been through; What she is going through; How she spends her days; That much I know; Some days I try; Some days well, I let myself be. I know there is a truth I am running away from; A truth I have to face every time I shut my mouth; I trying to make myself matter in the wrong way; He is no longer here; Him who accepted my counterfeit gold, And treated it like real gold. Everything feels blank and stale; I somehow disappear; I feel like there is no longer a me, But I can't go back to that gutter; I have shunned it long ago. There is a lot I don't know; A lot I don't understand; Things I wish I had answers to; I keep meeting these interesting people; But I can't commune my thoughts; I am at this beautiful place; I know I could have enjoyed it more; If he had decided to stay by my side a little more; It's forever raining nowadays, but because there is no you I don't enjoy it as much