Black Velvet

§Black Velvet Black Velvet Served creamy and cold Poor Man’s Black Velvet Both tasty and bold We were both called Terry But he was six foot four To my six foot one A full three inches more So he was called Big Tel And I was called small But to us the height question Just didn’t matter at all With rather too many pints Beneath each respective belt It was time to leave Brian’s So both of us felt Big Tel knew a short cut Or he did at least so he thought And I faithfully followed Big Tel In the way we boys are taught That night was clear and damply cold A ground mist hiding our feet beneath And in a sudden fit of coughing Big Tel went and spat out his teeth Now he’d never ever told me that He wore a few dental plates Perhaps he was ashamed To admit it to his mates So we’re crawling on this wet grass Feeling through mist with cold hands Lost and drunk and laughing On some honest farmer’s lands We lost all track of time Carrying out our long search We couldn’t after all Leave Big Tel in the lurch Eventually we found Every single dental plate Which Tel popped aback in his mouth And as it was getting rather late We resumed our interrupted walk And of course we continued Our interrupted tal Black Velvet Black Velvet Sweet mix of Cider and Porter Drink just enough pints And you can walk on water