Black Ice

I am heaven and I am not welcome here now and I know it will take some time until I am again i'm unsure if my gates will ever open wide enough for you to slip through though you can stare at them locked for as long as you please even though it makes my mouth dry and my blood rush like rapids, running south you can watch them glow in the dim light of my mother's living room unsure if it's divinity or smooth slick along the bars like black ice ready to toss a car to the wolves at a moments notice on a school run I wish I wasn't your very own girl your kiss felt everywhere but my lips your eyes burning through the same soft ready flesh to my tongue hot, wet and heavy where it sits in my mouth I have never see this heaven, all I am to you open your heart and show me if I am so very important, or at least let my cold hands scratch at the back door without reprimand you've spread me thin like butter, soft and left on the side for too long you've nailed me down with gentleness and yet despite all this my insides all out for you the unnatural purity of the whole ordeal your worship (the very worship that churns my insides and makes bile rise, sickly sweet in my throat) i'm still unsure of who sits behind your eyes, a man, a master a dog tied to a street lamp shivering in the cold snarling desperate hungry