Biting Bitterness

I am sooo tired Walk, walk, walk Each step taking its toll I'm weary of hope Setting a new image To press me toward a goal What is it all about What is the point Suffering, buffering .....WHAT...my lord??? Isn't it enough That I gave my life In your service No one would want A life of sorrow A child doesn't deserve THIS What about the lofty Who claim you too Shall I JUDGE ...Me....THEM...I hate!!! Wait, what!?! I hate, yes, I hate This bitter taste At least in captivity I had enough sweet...things I could afford to waste ......moments No way! this can NOT be my life...........I'm trudging IN death I have to ask When will it be over Am I really coming through What awaits me The paradise of my mind Or....just you All this suffering Has made you small I don't serve a BIG god Maybe you were tiny And my heart lies open In this desert..... ..............you have REQUIRED.....yes, REQUIRED...me to trod ..............I HATE plan B....stupid, ignorant woman of fallen man..... You brought us the required blood of your man Though I am far from grateful, NOW, it is a full-proof plan ....to get the IDEA of LACK....out of me My GOD, HELP ME, FORGIVE ME ............as I enter, fully, into the bitterness of soul Knowing that you WILLING gave up GLORY to walk me into (w)Hole (i)ness. Written by Trudy Schrader on 06-13-2018