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Birthdays

Birthdays were always shared. Two cakes sat mid-table, ‘Happy Birthday’ was sung with two names instead of one. I did not like being a twin, having a sister the same age, always being labeled more as a composite, having a shared identity, a part instead of being a whole. I felt as if I was diluted. I did not like the fuss, being different than the other boys who blended seamlessly together at school when I was singled out. My sister was the devout one, unquestioning whilst I was the opposite, the dark shadow in contrast to her light. My world was an unlit room. It was so for most of our lives, obedience versus rebellion, extrovert versus introvert, traditionalist versus radical, she a lover of boundaries whereas I busted far too many. My sister has been dead now for a decade. I miss her, my dear twin, the counterbalance to me.

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Gershon Wolf

Date: 7/6/2024 8:43:00 PM

Sounds like you two were the furthest thing possible from 'identical twins.' Complementary, though, despite it all. I can imagine that something inside you died when your sister passed. Here's to her memory. ~ Gershon

Paul Willason
Date: 7/10/2024 5:57:00 AM

Thankyou Gershon....very much appreciate your comments. Indeed, there was a dimension to the relationship that was deepened by sharing so much, something that was often taken for granted but made clear by absence. Regards, Paul

Christina Bowring

Date: 7/6/2024 1:36:00 PM

Dear Paul, this resonated with me so much as I am a twin (sisters) my beloved twin is 15 mins older! We are blessed with being very close and although not identical physically we are very similar in character, values etc. Even though you had your differences, the connection, love was there. ‘ My world was an unlit room’ is so poignant. Sometimes and sadly too, you don’t know what you had until it’s gone do you. Like you said, ‘ the counterbalance to me’. I found this a very beautiful,

Paul Willason
Date: 7/10/2024 5:47:00 AM

Hi Christina, sorry for the delay in reply, been out of action the last week. Thankyou so much for your kind words and for sharing your experience as a twin...feel honored that the poem found common territory and resonated. As you know, it's hard to explain that connection and after the passing of time, thoughts still surface that echo in the special space that was once occupied by your twin. Yr friend, Iaul

Christina Bowring
Date: 7/6/2024 1:38:00 PM

personal write from you and I’m so sorry to know that you lost your twin some years ago. I’m sure you look back and often reminisce. Sending you hugs my friend x

Di11y Da11y

Date: 6/29/2024 12:15:00 AM

such heaviness to extenuate the point of counter balance. My Mum is one of seven, the oldest of two 'sets' of twins. The younger set of twins both died in the last ten years. Always a magic to the 'twins', 4 very different personalities. I shared a birthday with those that died. Little lines and tangles that could mean nothing or everything, it's so easy to spend time trying to figure it out. I wasn't a twin but a pair with a single parent - seen as one entity. All feels part of something, maybe

Paul Willason
Date: 6/29/2024 5:16:00 PM

Wow...twins seem common in your family tree. Interesting to note the personality differences...in my case it was chalk and cheese. There's been no repeat of the twin event in subsequent offspring. Thanks for reading and sharing the thoughts it provoked dear DD.

Karen Jones

Date: 6/28/2024 9:01:00 PM

Aw this is so sad. I hope you know her love for you still lives! My family has a few sets of twins. But my twin aunts one of was killed in a tragic crash. The surviving twin aunt was like you perhaps shared your feelings. She begin to take on the character traits of her twin sister after she passed. It is a sadness she bears. Thanks for sharing.

Paul Willason
Date: 6/29/2024 5:08:00 PM

So pleased to hear from you dear Karen....to share in your own family's experience. Your kind and sensitive words are valued. My thanks for taking time to read the poem... Take care and blessings

Deb M

Date: 6/28/2024 5:37:00 PM

Oh Paul how very sad…..whether its two years, ten years or many more we still miss the ones we loved! Being a twin is a different sibling bond altogether. Beautiful, beautiful poem in all its sadness and loss! Your friend Debx

Paul Willason
Date: 6/29/2024 5:03:00 PM

Appreciate your kind words Deb. As mentioned to Daniel, time transforms a loss with an equal portion of gratitude for sharing a life. As you can imagine, my very active memory has warehouses full of moments. Take care my friend.

Daniel Turner

Date: 6/28/2024 5:15:00 PM

I know the feeling of a lost sibling. It's crazy how we talk about our memories. Memories which can go happy or sad, depending on your mood. They truly leave a hole in one's heart and life. Very emotive tribute poem, Paul.

Paul Willason
Date: 6/29/2024 4:58:00 PM

Thanks for your sensitive comments Daniel....appreciated. Memories over time become less weighted with the sense of loss...edging towards a thankful preservation. Take care