Bipolar Abandoned

What happens when I am lonely? Reality becomes a game because everything becomes so phony. Many times my emotions overwhelm me, This tortures me all day, but you'd never know unless you yourself can see. I sit inside my head, Think about horrible things, and than never make it to bed. I know I have to get up and clean, That's how I deal with my bipolar when I'm in a rage being mean. I wonder where the day has went, As if I was on borrowed time God to me has lent. There's those days I feel so much energy and power, But than there's the other days where I feel as shy and frigid as a flower. Sometimes when I go to bed at night, That constant urge sets in preparing for fight or flight. I have plenty of anxiety, So much that I dont eat, sleep, and tend to know no boundary. I deal with this from day to day. Sometimes I find myself alone in my bedroom just drifting away. Life has always left me pondering, Will this craziness ever stop, I will always be wondering. For me sometimes it's so easy to get lost, Into a world You'll never understand, Because it's a road you have not crossed!