Kim Rodrigues Poet Rubaiyat

Betrayal in Whelm of the sea

All around me, the ugliness and rays.
Those scrimshaw eyes, I’m dizzy with the haze.
My pulsepoint jumped, too cozy with our friend.
My arms and legs, in seesaw wave, betrays.

My husband grins with thoughtfulness and flounce.
With piquant sense, he’s unafraid of pounce.
It alarms me, the claustraphobic crowd -
The stingers rest - in whelm of sea they bounce.

I cannot bear flow’s untenable feast.
A turnabout…disconcerting…at least.
My lipshade sours, I back away, take pause,
As loving spouse does pet and kiss the beast.

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Jennifer Proxenos July 22, 2024 at 6:46 AM The ocean is thrilling, both in a terrifying sense and a happy, relaxed sense. It is mighty, and we are always at its will. Great imagination my friend. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer. Kim Rodrigues July 22, 2024 at 2:26 PM Thank you! Based on true tale!

Yann Rolland July 21, 2024 at 5:33 AM great emotion really surrounded from everwhere by sea beings, a poem with thrilling vibrations, a great work my friend, really enjoyed Kim Rodrigues July 22, 2024 at 2:26 PM Thank you, Yann! Glad I conveyed the thrill and terror of the moment. :)

Joseph P. DiMino July 20, 2024 at 3:21 PM Yes, the ocean is thrilling, not to ever forget its power and depth. After an all night of carousing, myself and a few friends, at day break, would find ourselves at the pier, looking for The Captain John charter. Less for fishing and more the ride, throwing caution to the wind, John would take us out in the wildest of weather -- talk about a ride. Even caught a fish once. Kim Rodrigues July 22, 2024 at 2:27 PM Wow! Love it!

Silent One July 19, 2024 at 1:53 PM Your poem masterfully blends vivid, surreal imagery with themes of social anxiety and marital dynamics. The blend of discomfort and affection, as well as the rhythmic structure, creates a compelling narrative that invites readers to reflect on their own experiences of personal and social dissonance. Through its evocative language and rich symbolism, the poem captures the intricate dance between connection and individual space within intimate relationships. Kim Rodrigues July 19, 2024 at 2:27 PM I greatly appreciate your critique, my friend! So glad that you were able to reflect on your own experience through the narrative. ((hugs)) Thank you!

Paige Hind July 19, 2024 at 1:16 PM Still it's hard to stay away from those waves, what a rubaiyat, my brain is full of it, lol- :) <3 Kim Rodrigues July 19, 2024 at 1:29 PM Yay! Makes me happy! :)

Sara Kendrick July 19, 2024 at 11:33 AM Those animals of the sea are very dangerous, so you are lucky to be alive. There was once a person that I knew who had lived for a time in Florida, and he said, "everything in the ocean can either bite, sting, or poison you so I stay out of it". I can agree with that statement because once I got stung by a jellyfish which was very painful, and I had to go to the ER after first aid at home did not give me total relief. They had to give me injections of steroids and something else. Sara K Kim Rodrigues July 19, 2024 at 1:30 PM That is no fun! Also don’t turn your back on the ocean, as they say, and I know! lol. Hugs

Joseph P. DiMino July 19, 2024 at 9:59 AM "The stingers rest - in whelm of sea they bounce." -- Wow! So original and unique. "My lipshade sours, I back away, take pause, As loving spouse does pet and kiss the beast." Without loving support, I would be lost in a sea of self doubt. Great write! Kim Rodrigues July 19, 2024 at 1:31 PM Thanks so much, Joe!

Hilda Greenhough July 19, 2024 at 8:45 AM I enjoy this poem of heroism. The ocean has many dangers. Kim Rodrigues July 19, 2024 at 9:04 AM Based on true story. We were not supposed to be allowed in water that was choppy that day. I jumped into the water with stingrays before I could change my mind. Scary!