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Betrayal in Whelm of the sea

All around me, the ugliness and rays. Those scrimshaw eyes, I’m dizzy with the haze. My pulsepoint jumped, too cozy with our friend. My arms and legs, in seesaw wave, betrays. My husband grins with thoughtfulness and flounce. With piquant sense, he’s unafraid of pounce. It alarms me, the claustraphobic crowd - The stingers rest - in whelm of sea they bounce. I cannot bear flow’s untenable feast. A turnabout…disconcerting…at least. My lipshade sours, I back away, take pause, As loving spouse does pet and kiss the beast.

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Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 7/22/2024 6:46:00 AM

The ocean is thrilling, both in a terrifying sense and a happy, relaxed sense. It is mighty, and we are always at its will. Great imagination my friend. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer.

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/22/2024 2:26:00 PM

Thank you! Based on true tale!

Yann Rolland

Date: 7/21/2024 5:33:00 AM

great emotion really surrounded from everwhere by sea beings, a poem with thrilling vibrations, a great work my friend, really enjoyed

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/22/2024 2:26:00 PM

Thank you, Yann! Glad I conveyed the thrill and terror of the moment. :)

Joe Dimino

Date: 7/20/2024 3:21:00 PM

Yes, the ocean is thrilling, not to ever forget its power and depth. After an all night of carousing, myself and a few friends, at day break, would find ourselves at the pier, looking for The Captain John charter. Less for fishing and more the ride, throwing caution to the wind, John would take us out in the wildest of weather -- talk about a ride. Even caught a fish once.

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/22/2024 2:27:00 PM

Wow! Love it!

Silent One

Date: 7/19/2024 1:53:00 PM

Your poem masterfully blends vivid, surreal imagery with themes of social anxiety and marital dynamics. The blend of discomfort and affection, as well as the rhythmic structure, creates a compelling narrative that invites readers to reflect on their own experiences of personal and social dissonance. Through its evocative language and rich symbolism, the poem captures the intricate dance between connection and individual space within intimate relationships.

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/19/2024 2:27:00 PM

I greatly appreciate your critique, my friend! So glad that you were able to reflect on your own experience through the narrative. ((hugs)) Thank you!

Paige Hind

Date: 7/19/2024 1:16:00 PM

Still it's hard to stay away from those waves, what a rubaiyat, my brain is full of it, lol- :) <3

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/19/2024 1:29:00 PM

Yay! Makes me happy! :)

Sara Kendrick

Date: 7/19/2024 11:33:00 AM

Those animals of the sea are very dangerous, so you are lucky to be alive. There was once a person that I knew who had lived for a time in Florida, and he said, "everything in the ocean can either bite, sting, or poison you so I stay out of it". I can agree with that statement because once I got stung by a jellyfish which was very painful, and I had to go to the ER after first aid at home did not give me total relief. They had to give me injections of steroids and something else. Sara K

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/19/2024 1:30:00 PM

That is no fun! Also don’t turn your back on the ocean, as they say, and I know! lol. Hugs

Joe Dimino

Date: 7/19/2024 9:59:00 AM

"The stingers rest - in whelm of sea they bounce." -- Wow! So original and unique. "My lipshade sours, I back away, take pause, As loving spouse does pet and kiss the beast." Without loving support, I would be lost in a sea of self doubt. Great write!

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/19/2024 1:31:00 PM

Thanks so much, Joe!

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 7/19/2024 8:45:00 AM

I enjoy this poem of heroism. The ocean has many dangers.

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 7/19/2024 9:04:00 AM

Based on true story. We were not supposed to be allowed in water that was choppy that day. I jumped into the water with stingrays before I could change my mind. Scary!