Beleaguered By Lactose Intolerance

Lower gastrointestinal war civil declared
because sweet tooth (er...rather dentures)
craved absolute zero sum game yoking,
wickedly villainous, x'acting tummy
upsetting Pavlovian salivating, romancing,

quid pro quo woe pea pie us, orthodox, 
conventional, nun habit forming (Lie), 
mouth watering, lip locked, kickstarting,
Je Suis ill lust trios, hymn bracing, gob
stop ping, feasting immediate enema 

inducing, decadent chocolate baneful 
cake courtesy of adoring bubela, (the 
same over stuffed ego freezer oft 
mentioned counterpart), charming, 
hugely overpowering tenderly loving 

zee missus diabolically exuding 
"FAKE" gracious humane insinuating 
jabbering, knowingly loo man hating, 
needful offal pestiferous quasi rip 
snorting, tush under fire, violent

whooshing, expelling xyz lower 
abdominal contractions, indubitably 
kindling, jumpstarting instagramming 
howling, fostering execrable, debilitating, 
besieging posterior, automatically 

clutching derriere, experiencing ferocious 
gluteus maximus intractable jabbing, knifing, 
lacerating, mutilating nameless oaf (me), 
painfully quaking das simian, torturously 
undergoing vicious wretched excessive 
yawping worse fate than death!

Otherwise ass hide from irritable bowel 
syndrome this second July Sunday 2019 
quite yawningly wonderful, uneventful, 
sedate, quiet, ordinary, mundane, languid, 
joyously humdrum, fabulously drab 
characterizing local buffoon, i.e. yours truly.

Shall I cut thee a slice of outrageously 
luscious, keister heavenly gourmet deluxe cake?
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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