Beleaguered By Lactose Intolerance

Lower gastrointestinal war civil declared because sweet tooth (er...rather dentures) craved absolute zero sum game yoking, wickedly villainous, x'acting tummy upsetting Pavlovian salivating, romancing, quid pro quo woe pea pie us, orthodox, conventional, nun habit forming (Lie), mouth watering, lip locked, kickstarting, Je Suis ill lust trios, hymn bracing, gob stop ping, feasting immediate enema inducing, decadent chocolate baneful cake courtesy of adoring bubela, (the same over stuffed ego freezer oft mentioned counterpart), charming, hugely overpowering tenderly loving zee missus diabolically exuding "FAKE" gracious humane insinuating jabbering, knowingly loo man hating, needful offal pestiferous quasi rip snorting, tush under fire, violent whooshing, expelling xyz lower abdominal contractions, indubitably kindling, jumpstarting instagramming howling, fostering execrable, debilitating, besieging posterior, automatically clutching derriere, experiencing ferocious gluteus maximus intractable jabbing, knifing, lacerating, mutilating nameless oaf (me), painfully quaking das simian, torturously undergoing vicious wretched excessive yawping worse fate than death! Otherwise ass hide from irritable bowel syndrome this second July Sunday 2019 quite yawningly wonderful, uneventful, sedate, quiet, ordinary, mundane, languid, joyously humdrum, fabulously drab characterizing local buffoon, i.e. yours truly. Shall I cut thee a slice of outrageously luscious, keister heavenly gourmet deluxe cake?