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Battle of Evermore

When I was just a wee young thing 
I was taught life's lesson well    
Ere instead of childhood revelry 
mine would be a children's hell    
    
As a child I'd learned in life 
you choose to live or choose to die    
That for some are chosen happiness 
And for the rest to reason why    
    
I could weep and moan at life so cruel 
or lament in deep despair    
Would it help me if I wring my hands 
while pulling out my hair?    
    
Would it put me in a better place  
if I took it lying down?    
Nay, I think I would be just as dead 
if in self pity I did drown    
    
So I did, I think, the only thing my childish mind could do    
With the power of imagination  and a fantasy or two    
    
I did don a suit of honor,
I did guard o'er children's door    
And like any worthwhile soldier  
I would battle evermore    
    
While most children softly slumber
dreaming dreams that hold no fright    
As the children's chosen warrior
who had taken up their plight    
    
I did lay awake and listen 
in the darkness through the door      
For the sneaking sound his bare feet made 
down hall on linoleum floor    
    
As I pray to a god who was not there 
to help my battle plans go right    
Twas I alone in the dark with my Ball and Jax 
who would be waging war this night    
    
With my hands I stifled giggles 
my mind envisioning in the black    
Of the pain, glorious pain, to befall his feet 
as he stumbled on my Jax    
    
I laughed as I lay there pondering 
if the makers of this children's game    
had ever dreamed that their tiny Ball and Jax 
would one night save four girls from shame    
    
HUSH! I hear him coming!  
I have caught him unaware    
As his feet crossed o'er the battle lines 
I swear his scream could curl your hair    
    
I laughed till I cried, as he hopped while he tried    
to get away from my midnight attack    
Under the unscrewed hall light, he stood cursing the child      
who had left out her Jax in the night    
    
The beating was worth all the joy and the mirth    
that his dance down the hall gave that night    
    
After winning round one, I vowed I would fight on    
Evermore as a soldier, FIGHT ON.    
    
    
I'd decided as a very young child of abuse, that I would never go down without a fight.    
I spent my entire childhood and teenage years in a silent battle with my father.    
    
A battle never spoken of, but a battle none the less.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 4/10/2016 10:38:00 PM
Shuanda, you are doing wonderfully here. It's a hurtful poem, Thank you for sharing, Congrats in Catie Lindsey's Who are you? contest. Love LINDA
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/11/2016 12:15:00 AM
Thank you dear. I read others poetry on the worlds beauty and wonderful lives and I keep writing of the darkness in our world. Sometimes I really wish I could write more upbeat poems. I've been working on it. Thanks again. Always, Shaunda
Date: 4/8/2016 2:11:00 PM
Shaunda, what an incredible write, it touched my heart and at the same time made me smile for that strong little girl and that image, well I sure can relate to that ~
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/11/2016 12:12:00 AM
lol Thank you for your kindness. Seems there are a lot of strong people on this site that can relate to each others story.
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Constance La France
Date: 4/8/2016 2:12:00 PM
Oh, almost forgot , 7
Date: 4/8/2016 3:13:00 AM
Powerfully written Shaunda - sadly no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors - congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/8/2016 4:11:00 AM
Thank you so much.
Date: 4/8/2016 2:08:00 AM
Thank you for sharing that.Can't lie that was so well written it took me a second to read..I was getting a little bit''well''angry to put it politely.My Soldier!!!Luv ya Sis! Always,Justin Cole
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/8/2016 3:12:00 AM
lol Thanks so much. I love your comments.
Date: 4/7/2016 8:25:00 PM
this is EPIC, Shaundra. BIG congrats on your top win. I loved this. It was so different, and fresh. Congratulations.
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/8/2016 3:11:00 AM
Thank you so much..
Date: 4/7/2016 6:19:00 PM
You told this story so well, I felt as though i was with you, every step, beautiful write and scary write, thanks for the ride, congrates on ur win in the contest my friend , hugs :)
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/7/2016 7:32:00 PM
You're so welcome.. What a wonderful comment.
Date: 4/2/2016 10:10:00 PM
Shaunda-Your courage then and now is amazing! As a dad and someone who takes care of kids, it literally makes me ill to contemplate this sort of mistreatment. Nothing turns a bunch of Mr. Rogers/Mary Poppins peditrician types into bloodthirsty death penalty advocates than hearing about/seeing the results of the kind of treament you suffered.
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/3/2016 9:42:00 PM
Thank you again Tom, for all your kind comments. I put this stuff out there so others who've gone through the same thing can see it doesn't have to be a dirty little secret. I save give the shame to those it belongs to. The perpetraitors and the ones who idly do nothing. The sad thing about it all is I have no idea what or who I could have been had I lived a happy childhood
Date: 4/2/2016 10:14:00 AM
My friend Shaunda...if I hand a magic wand...I would go back in time and take away all your pain you experienced as a child...if I could trade places I would...why do you ask?...because my ex-wife had a similar experience...and our marriage was destroyed because of it...I'm not blaming any one but the vicious cycle...and the only comfort I can give you is that... I understand now(never 100%)...and we are here as friends to listen... that each of our actions in life...will be accounted for...^WW^
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Shaunda Lindsay
Date: 4/2/2016 10:23:00 AM
WOW. Thank you so much..I'm so glad you commented and I'm sorry about your wife. Most people can't possibly understand the absolute destruction this kind of childhood does to the spirit of a child. Utter devastation. Knowing what I know, I could never allow anyone to go through what myself and brothers and sisters did. You are so kind for saying this. Your friend Shaunda.

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