Barefoot Buccaneer

Bronwyn the Barbaric was a buxom lass the envy of all her peers She spoke with unrivaled swashbuckling sass her pirate-ess fashion was fierce She could charm off the arms of the most hardened men how they'd swoon at the sight of her swagger She ruled over cutthroats with a dangerous grin her hand ever over her dagger But her smile was so lovely, her style was so vogue that she had little need for such violence With a wave of her hand, she could tame ruthless rogues with a look she could cause utter silence So, peacefully she plundered (with minions to pillage and devotedly obey her commands) Until a shop window caught her eye in the village and she made a bad purchase, unplanned There she acquired the most dashing high-heel boots custom made (according to her wishes) But the pain that they caused was something acute and it made the 'old girl' act quite vicious She kidnapped the cobbler and tortured him so she was in quite a terrible temper She dealt him such cruel and merciless blows the crew could hardly handle his whimpers She became a tyrannical, treacherous wench terrorizing from Tahiti to Tangier Leaving in her wake only ruins and stench with a reckless and wicked sneer And 'though her crew were not a cowardly lot they dared not get on her bad side The last scalawag was both stabbed and shot before she tossed him into the tide But one rakish mate had an interesting offer her vanity couldn't refuse- If he could, just once, get those stylish boots off her a better set he could produce So eyeing him, slowly, she peeled the boots off and immediately felt such relief Gone was her bitterness, her angry scoff gone was the source of her grief Seeing their pirate queen herself again the crew gathered 'round and they cheered Those bloody boots were thrown overboard and their mate was quite revered Now a barefoot buccaneer, she still struts across the deck And if they don't bend to her will she'll see they're put in check!